Q: I don’t know how to put this delicately so as not to offend your sensibilities. But here goes, I hate the way my penis looks. I know you might not think this is a big deal, you being a woman and all, but it is ruining and has ruined my sex life. I am afraid to have sex where there is light because I don’t want some guy to see my tool – but things aren’t great even without the light. It’s not just my imagination because when I was younger comments were made, and one guy even started laughing when he saw it. Do you know anyone that fixes these kinds of things?
A: Well actually I don’t, but there are plastic surgeons for every other part of the body so I am sure there are plastic surgeons for a problem penis. Not being an expert on this sort of thing or knowing what makes you dislike the looks of your penis or knowing why someone would find it laughable, I can only suggest that you seek the advice of a plastic surgeon. You could ask your primary physician for a recommendation. If there is guy out there that has any ideas or recommendations for Penis Problem, e-mail me and I’ll send it on.
Bye, bye, brrr!
Q: I hate cold weather. I hate the winter gloom and I dream of moving to New Mexico or Arizona. I am single so there is no one person stopping me from moving. What is stopping me is my friends. They all keep telling me I am crazy to move and leave a good job, good friends and a supportive community. I do have a good job; I love my boss and co-workers; and I make really good money. I don’t know if I could find another job like this if I move. I have wonderful friends, and I am very involved in the women’s community. I haven’t decided where I want to move for sure, but I do know that I will be looking for a strong, gay women’s community as well as a liberal area. Mostly I like Michigan the rest of the year; it’s just the months of January, February and March (and sometimes April) that get me down. I do OK up until Christmas, but after that I start getting depressed, and by the time May comes along, I don’t even want to get out of bed. I have tried using a special light that I sit in front of each day as well as taking anti-depressants, but neither one has worked very well for me. So I think I should try moving to a sunny climate and see if that helps my life. I just don’t know if my friends are right when they say I shouldn’t move and give up everything I have here. What would you do if you were me, and how would you go about making a good decision?
A: Not being in your shoes I can’t say what I would do if I were you, but regarding the winter depression and your anti-depressant, don’t rule anti-depressants out unless you have tried several different kinds. There are many different kinds, often people have to try several different types before hitting on the one that works for them. However, I think you need to investigate moving if this is your dream and what you really want to do. You can do a lot of the foot work online (i.e. looking at different communities to see where you might want to move and looking at job opportunities to see if there is an active women’s community in the area). I wouldn’t worry about making new friends. If you have a lot of friends here, you will be able to make friends in a new location. If possible I would check out the Lesbian Connection and see if they have any “contact dykes” living in the areas that you are considering. Then after you have narrowed down the area, it would seem wise for you to visit it in order to determine if you like the area and if you can picture yourself living there. Regarding your friends, I don’t think you should just dismiss your friends’ advice, but in the end you need to make up your own mind.