Once phat, now fat
Q: My boyfriend, “George,” has been growing by the day, and I don’t mean in a good way. He’s growing fat. He says it’s because he’s under a lot of stress. He says that he worries a lot about his job and whether or not he’ll have it the next day. I say it’s because he eats a lot, and a lot of the wrong kind of foods, like potato chips, tortilla chips, cake, pie, ice cream, cookies. Get the idea? He doesn’t. George and I have been together for two years. He was trim and sexy when we met. Now he is flabby and unappetizing. I have told him this, but it doesn’t seem to help. I don’t understand how he can do this to himself and to me. I want to figure out a way to help him because I really like George; I used to think I loved him too. Maybe I should be big enough to overlook this, but how do you have sex with a guy if he has become repulsive?
Needing My Pretty Boy Back
A: Regarding “has become repulsive”: Are you talking about George or you? On a compassion scale of 1-10, you don’t show up. If you want to climb onto the scale, I would suggest you care about the causes of George’s weight gain and give George your support, instead of your nasty and unhelpful criticism. If you can’t support a boyfriend through hard times, perhaps you are not ready for adulthood or a boyfriend.
A realistic adventure?
Q: My partner “Evelyn” has lost her job. It is not her fault; just what’s going on these days in this scary economy. Losing her job is not the problem. The problem is that she wants to go back to school and get her nursing degree. Actually, that’s not the problem either since I know that that will be a good investment in her/our futures. The problem I have is that she wants to go to a school that costs a bundle. There is another school that is nearby that is considered very good and would cost her a lot less. The school that Evelyn wants to go to is also very good but is out of state. That would mean that we would have to pack up and go, and I would have to find another job – which in my field will not be easy. And in this economy!? So, I would have to give up my job, have moving expenses and take on twice the debt that we would need just in order to go to this prestigious school. We would have to do this all on student loans. Evelyn doesn’t want to look beyond this being a big adventure (i.e. going somewhere else). I tell her that I like adventures too, but not financial disasters. She doesn’t seem to be understanding with what is going on regarding the financial problems in this country. She says that I’m a stick-in-the-mud and that I don’t want to step out and live life. We both agreed to listen to what you had to say.
A: It would be helpful for you to get the figures down on paper for all the expenses involved, for either of the two scenarios. Start by figuring out the out-of-state school option. Moving expenses, costs of renting a place. First, last month, plus deposit, costs of not having a job for up to six months or more (you won’t get unemployment when quitting a job) – so, wages lost. How much money you have saved. Nursing school tuition, books, fees for total program. After all that, figure the monthly pay back in student loans and the years to pay them back. Then do the same – figure the expenses – for going to the local nursing school. If the out-of-state seems overwhelming and will keep you in debt for years to come, you might want to opt for the in-state school and look to having adventures later. Maybe more affordable ones.