Dear Jody

BTL Staff
By | 2009-07-23T09:00:00-04:00 July 23rd, 2009|Opinions|
Bi? Gay? I’m lost

Q: I’m writing to you in hopes of being able to figure out who I am. I am so confused right now. Let me give you a little background. I am an 18-year-old male, and I just graduated from high school this last year. I can’t figure out if I am gay, straight, bi or what. Everyone I’ve talked to about this, including my friends, say I’m gay, I just need to admit it. They say that being bi is just a step toward being gay. Up until now, while I was in high school, I dated girls and I liked it a lot. I had a couple of guy friends that were gay, but I didn’t really mess around with them or anything.
This summer I met a few guy that really turned me on, and for the first time I have been having sex with guys. It has been incredible, but I don’t think I am ready to give up girls because I like them, too. So my confusion is this: What do I call myself, and how do I decide if I like girls or guys or what?

Who Am I?

A: I don’t think it’s important for you to have a label for yourself, especially at this stage of your life when you are just starting to discover and explore your sexuality. You are definitely bi right now, as you enjoy dating and having sex with both males and females. I don’t know what part of the state you live in, but I would encourage you to see if there are any groups in your area for people exploring their sexuality. For the record, for some people, bi is the road to gay, but for others, it’s the end of the road. You can’t know that right now – and your friends don’t know that either.

Help me keep my house

Q: I don’t know where to turn. I am about to lose my home because I am behind in my payments and I can’t seem to get caught up. Here’s what happened: I had a really good paying job, and I bought my house five years ago. It is a lovely home. Ten months ago I lost my job but was lucky enough to land another job just four months later.
The problem is that this job doesn’t pay as much as my other job. When I was off work, I got behind in my payments and now, even though I can make my current payments, I am getting nasty letters from the mortgage company because I can’t get caught up. I am three months behind.
I’ve got my house up for sale, but the way the market is I don’t think I will ever sell it for the amount that I would need to pay the current loan. I don’t want to go into foreclosure, and I am afraid of what this is doing to my credit rating. Where do I turn? I have always paid my bills on time and certainly never expected to be in this position. Do you have any ideas about what I can do so I don’t lose my home?

Needing Home Help

A: I would certainly contact your lender and let them know what is going on. Many times people fail to do this, and some lenders are willing to work with individuals that are behind in their payments. The other thing is to contact the Michigan State Housing Development Authority (MISHDA). They have a program called “Save the Dream,” which has a hotline that directs homeowners to a homeownership counselor in their county. This person specializes in foreclosure prevention. The toll free number is 866-946-7432. Also, go to the Web site –; it offers other numbers that you might want to contact, tips on keeping your home and loans that may be available to you. Good luck.

About the Author:

BTL Staff
Between The Lines has been publishing LGBTQ-related content in Southeast Michigan since the early '90s. This year marks the publication's 25th anniversary.