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Dear Jody

By Jody Valley

A slow sail is a steady sail
Q: I'm currently in a fairly new relationship. We have been seeing each other now for two months. I'm beginning to feel that this could be THE relationship! This woman is gorgeous, smart, cuddly, and very, very sexy! My concern is that I have never had a relationship that lasted beyond four months, and I don't want to screw this one up.
In my past relationships, I did the stereo-typical thing of moving in within the first few weeks. In most of my past relationships, I would woo my lover, and she'd come along with me on my love boat to happiness. Later, I would find out that this was not the right person and then would want out, fast.
Well, it is now two months, and I feel like setting sail with this new woman. I dream of her all day at work, just waiting for the evening when I will be able to see her again√ëif she's available to see me that night. I want to be able to be with her more–have her move in– so bad I can hardly stand it.
My question to you is, do you think that I have waited long enough to pop the question? I really feel like I have known this woman for years and years. I think we are soul mates and have probably been together in past lives. I REALLY think that we are supposed to be together in this life, too.
I have gone way past my two-week thing, into two months. I have never felt this intense before and I know that we are very compatible. I know that she is meant for me, and I for her. How about it? Have I given it enough time, this time?
Getting Ready To Set Sail

A: Put down your sails, and get back on the dock! You are still jumping aboard way too soon. If she's truly your soul mate, and your destiny from former lives, she'll still be there in another eight to ten months. Two months of knowing her is, not really knowing her, at all! I do applaud you for getting beyond the two weeks thing, but two months is still far too short. Give yourself more time and just enjoy the relationship and let it progress before making any commitments–or in your case, bringing her aboard.
(PS: Don't rule out that she could be a real stinker from a former life, coming back to haunt you, once againÑa witch-bitch in mate's clothing!)

Hold your butt up high and demand your respect
Q: My boyfriend has an annoying habit of pinching my ass! I don't like it when we are in private, and especially, not in public. He really thinks it is cute to do this. He also thinks that because he is Italian it is somehow his birthright to do so. He tells me that he can't help himself because I have such a great ass to pinch, and it gives him pleasure. I would be denying him, if he couldn't do it.
Jody, I feel so used and cheap when he does that. It does not matter whether it is in private or in public. I don't like it. However, in public, it is downright humiliating for me. I have told him how I feel, but he doesn't respect that. He doesn't even care when I give him dirty looks. He just says things like, "Oh, my honey's ass is upset! The Italian-Stallion has struck again." Then, he laughs and everyone around laughs, too. I become just a big joke.
I haven't come right out and told him to stop, but I sure have told him how I felt about it. I don't understand why he continues.
How can I get him to stop?
The Butt of Jokes

A: Demand that he stop! If he doesn't respect your demand, I would wonder why you'd still be with him. I'm also wondering why you'd stick with someone who wouldn't respect your feelings. My guess is that there are other things in your relationship that he's not respecting, either. The bottom line is that you need to respect yourself enough to take care of yourself in situations like this; if you don't, there are others out there who will take advantage of you and not respect you either.

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