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Dear Jody: Where do I come in?

Q: I'm dating this guy, "Jeff," who has three kids. I didn't know when I first met him that he had kids; he told me three months into our relationship about his marriage and kids. In all honesty, if he had told me he was married with family, I would have probably continued seeing him. But at least I would have felt I had a choice in the matter. I was in love with him after our second time together, like I was so hooked. He's incredibly hot and the sex is out of this world.
So, having said that, I am stuck with this guy who is spending his life trying to settle a divorce and spending lots of time with his kids. So, where is my life? Well, it's on hold! Jeff is tied up dealing with his wife over the divorce – along with many lawyer's calls and visits. He's feeling bad about his kids so he spends time with his son at his ballgames, etc., and with his two daughters at their events.
So what time is left for me? Not much! Like, maybe, one night a week, and then for only about two or three hours, max! Those hours with him are great, but it's just a few hours, and I really want and need more.
Is there some way I can get Jeff's attention and get him to give me at least one night a week? Any suggestions would be helpful.

Waiting in the Wings

A: My suggestion is for you to back off and let Jeff handle his divorce and deal with his children. It's truly too bad that you found out about his situation three months into your relationship, but the fact is, Jeff needs to take care of his family situation before he's ready to move on; and even then, his ex-wife (to some extent) and his children will always be in the picture. You need to decide if you can handle that. It's the reality of Jeff's life, and yours – if you choose to stay with him.

Estranged dad wants money

Q: My father called me and asked me for some money. I was astounded that he would call me and ask for such a thing or for anything for that matter. After all, he left my mother when I was 2 years old, and neither she nor I have seen or heard from him since their divorce.
I can't believe that he had the nerve to call me and ask for money when he didn't pay child support or ever visit me. My mother and I lived on food stamps and welfare for years. (Social services couldn't find him.) But somehow, now, he managed to find me and had the guts to call and ask for money. He didn't even start out by asking me how I was, or what my life was like, or how my mother was doing. (And he never asked anything about me throughout our entire conversation.) He just talked about himself and how "unlucky" he had been. Apparently, in order to try and make his money "grow," he took it and gambled, thinking he could at least double it and be able to pay his bills. The problem is, he lost it all. So now, he and his family are about to lose their home.
I told him that I didn't have the kind of money he needed. Then he said that any amount would be appreciated. I told him that I would have to think about it and I needed to check my finances. I said that he should call me back in a week. I don't know why I told him he could call again. I guess it was just because I was so floored that he would call me.
I don't want to give him any money, but it makes me feel guilty not to give him something. I hate to think of kids being homeless. (I could probably manage several hundred dollars.)
Would you give him the money?
Long Lost Daughter

A: No, I wouldn't. Even if I could get by the fact that he left me at the age of 2, didn't help pay for my upbringing, then had the nerve to call me and ask for money, I would still not give him a dime. He'd probably take it and try to double it, again. If you continue to suffer from guilt about homeless kids, you might want to take your money and give it to a charity that helps children. Then you can be sure that kids are really getting the money. (I'm sorry that this has happened to you; it was cruel.)

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