Driving Mr. Aiken

Chris Azzopardi
By | 2006-06-22T09:00:00-04:00 June 22nd, 2006|Entertainment|

Kathy Griffin doesn’t regret driving Gay, er, Clay Aiken out of L.A.
“He’s on the cover [of TV Guide] talking about how he just wants to get married and have kids, and how he can’t wait to fall in love with the right woman,” Griffin told Planet Out. “So I joked about that in my special, and then he goes on ‘Access Hollywood’ … and talks about how he’s leaving L.A. because people are mean and jaded here and how everybody has an agenda.”
Griffin told Planet Out that she received two phone calls from friends saying, “You have single-handedly driven Clay Aiken out of L.A.”
“Hey – I don’t have any proof he’s gay, any more than you do, but I think we’re all on the same page,” she said.
Mocking celebrities, or high-profile American Idol runner-ups, is Griffin’s forte. She’s chaffed Sharon Stone, who was in the audience at an AIDS fundraiser, on stage. She’s made it clear to Howard Stern that Ethan Hawke isnÕt that hot (“Have you seen his gnarly teeth?”). She’s even stooped as far as spreading rumors about li’l adorable Dakota Fanning entering rehab.
“I’d measure my vagina onstage if it would get a laugh,” Griffin told Newsweek. “I only go after the biggest and brightest.”
Blame it on her blunt ‘tude, but Griffin has made a name for herself, spurring sold out performance after sold out performance and her own Bravo show, “Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List.” And – surprise, surprise – the show, which features drag queens, her homo interior designer and her two queer friends, is pretty damn gay.
“This really is my reality!” she said. “A lot of my fans are gay and I do lots of gay events.”
But although Griffin has her own reality show, it doesn’t mean she can’t make some time for Whitney and Bobby. “I. Love. Every. Moment!” she said about their reality show. “I call it ‘Meet the McCrackersons,’ because it’s like a cracked-out ‘Ozzie and Harriet.'”
Sometimes Griffin even invites her homos over to indulge in some of the alleged cracked out couple. “I mean, I’m having a party tonight!” she said. “The gays are coming over just to watch it.”
She finds the show enlightening. “I mean, who knew they were more nuts than what we’ve already seen?” she said. “And I love it when they can’t even remember their daughter’s name. They’re like, ‘Be quiet, um, May… um, Lin… um, I mean… our daughter!'”
Even Griffin’s parents, who live in a condo in West Hollywood, get in on the gay affairs. “They said they want to live with the gays because the gays are clean,” she told Planet Out. “That’s their expression: ‘Well, the gays are so goddamned clean!'”
But it gets better, according to Griffin. “They go to the Pride Fest every year. For the food! I’m like, ‘Wait a minute, Mom and Dad – you guys actually went to Pride Fest?’ And they’re like, ‘Kathy, the food at Pride Fest is delicious!'”

About the Author:

Chris Azzopardi
As editor of Q Syndicate, the international LGBTQ wire service, Chris Azzopardi has interviewed a multitude of superstars, including Meryl Streep, Mariah Carey and Beyoncé. Reach him via his website at http://www.chris-azzopardi.com and on Twitter (@chrisazzopardi).