Is Ryan Seacrest in or out?

BTL Staff
By | 2008-07-24T09:00:00-04:00 July 24th, 2008|Opinions|
Billy Masters

“I think if I met the right person. I am just afraid I’ll end up with some hustler, fall in love with the rent boy who’ll take me for all I’m worth.” – Leslie Jordan answers the question of would he ever get married. I don’t think marriage is the problem. It might be helpful to take a closer look at the guys he’s attracted to.

Last week, I filled in as co-host on “One In Ten,” Boston radio station WFNX’s weekly GLBT radio program. It was the eve of the release of Christopher Ciccone’s tawdry little tell-all about his sister, Madonna (as an aside – I always find it amusing that these people never write the “truth” when the checks are coming in…only when they stop). So the perfect guests were J. Randy Taraborrelli, who interviewed Madonna, Chris, and Guy for his own best seller “Madonna: An Intimate Biography,” and entertainment reporter Steve Kmetko, who interviewed Madonna a number of times. This was quite a dishy tete-a-tete and you can listen to it for free on my podcast at http://www.BillyMasters.com.

Another guest (also on the podcast) was actor/comedian/author/raconteur Leslie Jordan, who told us all about Logo’s “Sordid Lives: The Series,” his book “My Trip Down the Pink Carpet,” and his tour of the same name. This was perfect timing because two days later, I found myself on that very pink carpet with Leslie at the “Sordid Lives” premiere in NY, which was a benefit for the Trevor Project http://www.TheTrevorProject.org – my favorite charity because they operate the only 24/7 nationwide suicide hotline for gay and questioning youth. I finally got to meet the very sexy new executive director Charles Robbins (who had on a gorgeous shirt). The riotous live portion of the evening was hosted by Caroline Rhea, and featured Debby Holliday singing “Joyful Sound” (which is featured in the season finale), a hysterical story by Leslie, songs by Georgette Jones (Tammy Wynette’s daughter), and two music videos by Olivia Newton-John (who looked fabulous…as always). It seems the whole cast was there, but I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention the fabulous Rue McClanahan and my beloved Bobbie Eakes. Then the first two episodes of the series were screened. Fans of the original will not be disappointed. Del Shores clearly has a way with creating memorable characters and telling fabulous stories. Will this show be the one to put Logo on the map? Stay tuned.

It was bound to happen eventually. After years of public urination and inebriation, Andy Dick has FINALLY been arrested. In the wee small hours of July 16, Andy was seen staggering outside a Buffalo Wild Wings restaurant in Murietta, Calif. – and you know nothing good happens in that setting. Police received a call about a man urinating on the side of the building – one might say, Andy pulled his Dick out. When the cops arrived, they charged him with sexual battery, possession of a controlled substance, possession of marijuana, and public intoxication after groping a 17-year-old. But, here’s the best part…a 17-year-old girl! Andy didn’t spend much time in the pokey – his bail was set at $5K in the morning. In case anyone is interested, we’ll post photos from another of Andy’s public urinations (and his mug shot) at http://www.BillyMasters.com.

We’re getting some glimpses into the upcoming television season. But instead of talking about what is there, let’s talk about what’s missing – Ryan Seacrest. While I think it’s far too early to celebrate his demise (especially right after his Emmy nomination), it is entirely possible that his role on “American Idol” will be vastly diminished (unless he wins said Emmy – which is unlikely). Rumors circulated at the end of last season that the audience was tired of Seacrest’s smug demeanor and nasty barbs with Simon Cowell. FOX was reportedly looking into ways to solve this problem, including replacing Seacrest or hiring a co-host – ’cause we’re all crying out for the return of Dunkleman! Speculation has grown since FOX’s announcement of the upcoming “AI” season, and Seacrest being the sole veteran NOT mentioned as returning.

We are absolutely sure that, unlike Miss Seacrest, “Lipstick Jungle” will be back. I know, I know…a guilty pleasure. And I was sure it would be “Cashmere Mafia” to survive. Who knew? News from the set is Mary Tyler Moore will play Brooke Shields’ mom – and for more than the one episode originally planned. Also on board is Rosie Perez. Fun, but I know what you want to know…yes, sexy Robert Buckley returns, and the almost-endless shirtless scenes will continue. In fact, look for his part to be beefed up, so to speak, since his on-screen paramour, Kim Raver, will suddenly find herself a widow (oh, should I have said “Spoiler Alert”? I think not).

This gives me the perfect opportunity to run some incredibly hot shirtless pics of Buckley on the set. In the scene, he’s playing basketball – shirtless – and wearing a pair of loose-fitting sweat shorts. Oh, but there’s a surprise in store. Our techs got ahold of some high-res photos and in one of them, Robert appears to be sporting one of the largest penises I have ever seen! Oh, you don’t believe me? Go to http://www.BillyMasters.com and see for yourself.

You’d think that would satisfy you, wouldn’t you? A hot guy. A big dick. What more do you want? Huh? Answer me? Oh, right…I’m sitting alone in a room typing this. Well, I’ll imagine you are demanding more…especially in light of this week’s “Ask Billy” question. Nick in Miami asks, “Did you hear about the hottie who hosts HGTV “Design Star” doing gay porn? What’s the deal?”

First, I’m not sure I understood a thing you said. What is HGTV? What’s “Design Star”? Hottie? Finally a word I know. It’s true, I don’t watch HGTV. Still, I hear things…like that “Design Star” host Michael Verdugo has a past…doing gay bondage porn! So we looked into this to see if there was any truth to the rumors…’cause you know we’re all about research here. There is a video and photos that were done for Tom “Ropes” McGurk. Big question – is it Mikey? It sure looks like him. I think he was cuter and had more lean muscle back then. Now he looks more like a man, is bulkier, and tattoos are more intricate (although there are definitely similarities). Most importantly, no denial has been issued, so I feel very confident about posting his tied up photos, his J/O snaps, and maybe even some of the video on http://www.BillyMasters.com, and you can decide for yourself.

Could it be that one of Judy’s little girls is dipping her toe into the “Wizard of Oz” franchise? Believe it or not, the answer is yes. So who is it? Is Liza going to try and play a teenaged “Dorothy Gale”? Nope. But Lorna is going to play “The Wicked Witch of the West.” She says the decision was difficult given the special place “Oz” holds for her family. But, as Lorna confesses, they made her an offer she couldn’t refuse. It’s in Manchester, England. It’s five weeks, and she actually knew and loved Margaret Hamilton, so it’s almost an homage. The only problem is – I don’t think the witch even has a song!

When someone’s threatening to drop a house on Lorna, it’s definitely time to end yet another column. Did I mention that I ran into hunky Eric Mabius in an elevator of his new NYC digs? And, no, I will not share the address with you. But I can tell you the “Ugly Betty” cast is slowly adjusting to the change in coasts, and Eric is looking no worse for wear. You know what else is looking mighty fine? http://www.BillyMasters.com. And for your more specific needs, reach out and touch me at Billy@BillyMasters.com and I promise to get back to you before Dick joins the cast of “Celebrity Rehab.” Until next time, remember, one man’s filth is another man’s bible.

About the Author:

BTL Staff
Between The Lines has been publishing LGBTQ-related content in Southeast Michigan since the early '90s. This year marks the publication's 25th anniversary.