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Jewish LGBT families talk about their lives

By Sharon Gittleman

SOUTHFIELD – Religious and family ties and sexual orientation are subjects sure to induce passionate responses. Sometimes it's hard to step back and really listen to another point of view.
The Jewish Gay Network of Michigan hopes to inspire more compassionate conversations with its upcoming program, "Putting a Human Face on Homosexuality," at 7 p.m. Thursday, Oct. 25, at the Jewish Community Center in West Bloomfield.
At the event, a panel of LGBT-friendly people will talk and answer questions about their experiences, said Linda Lee, JGN coordinator.
"We have gay people and people who have gay children, a transgender individual, and a mom of a transgender person, and a straight person with a gay mom," Lee said. "These are people who have lived through it and serve as role models for others."
The group aims to ease moms' and dads' fears.
"We hope people will realize gay people are like everyone else," she said. "We decided to use the PFLAG model – to have the community meet and see LGBT people and family members and hear, from them, coming-out issues and personal stories."
Event chairperson Joyce Bayer will talk about her experiences as a mom of a transgender child.
Her daughter, now 29, realized she was gay at age 19, and then began questioning her gender identity when she was 21.
"I think it was just a growing reality," Bayer said. "It was a lot of little things adding up for her."
Her daughter doesn't plan to have surgery, Bayer added.
"She is happy being where she is right now," she said, adding that she adores her child. "We never had an issue when she told us she was gay, and we never had an issue when she told us she was transgender.
"One reason I'm involved with the JGN is that personally, I think the reaction we had should be the norm."
For panel member P.J. Cherrin, who also serves as JGN's president, being gay and following a traditionally-observant Jewish faith aren't contradictions.
"It is what it is. God makes all kind of people," Cherrin said. Scripture should be treated as an opportunity to open up conversations, he said.
"Being an Orthodox Jew is not being a fundamentalist," he continued. "Fundamentalism is something you can't question. Judaism is all about asking questions."
Cherrin said he hopes his appearance will inspire people to understand they can live fully-integrated Jewish lives as LGBT people.
"I want our Jewish community to know we're not just a bunch of biblical verses," he said. "The LGBT experience through the lens of Judaism stands on its own. We're part of the Jewish community."
The program is just one of the events sponsored by JGN. Other monthly discussion groups are in the planning stages, with a Hanukkah party scheduled for 7 p.m. on Dec. 6, also at the JCC.
The JGN maintains a listserv with 200 names and email addresses, said Lee.
"We have programs around religious holidays, study sessions and Shabbat dinners," she said. "Our goal is to make gay people feel they are a part of the Jewish environment."

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