by Jessica Carreras
Michigan has caught the marriage bug. Perhaps it flew in on the winds from Iowa, or was swept over us from the California storms. Whatever the case, LGBT activists, couples and politicians are itching for a change in Michigan: namely, the repeal of 2004's Proposal 2 and the start of marriage equality.
Advocates, politicians set a date
In the wake of the passage of Proposal 2 in 2004, Michigan LGBT activists were cautious to say when a counterstrike aimed to repeal the same-sex marriage ban might take place.
This is no longer the case. Serious talks about a push for repeal in the near future began on May 26 when a crowd of nearly 100 people gathered at the Capitol Building in Lansing to protest the California Supreme Court's decision to uphold Proposition 8 in that state. There, Michigan Equality Co-Director Julie Nemecek stated that marriage equality could come to Michigan as soon as 2012 – a move other activists have called hasty.
But at a similar rally held during Michigan Pride in Lansing, Nemecek stood by her statement.
"I've gotten in some hot water for suggesting that marriage equality could come to Michigan as soon as 2012," she said to the crowd gathered at the Capitol on June 13. "That is not yet Michigan Equality's official position – just my personal opinion. We don't have any secret plan; just a lot of hope and confidence."
Nemecek detailed the reasons for her belief, including recent wins for equality in states like Iowa and New Hampshire, seemingly panicked attacks by LGBT foe Gary Glenn of the American Family Association and faith in the strength of the community to make change happen.
Nemecek also pointed to a recent poll conducted by the Detroit Free Press, which stated that attitudes on same-sex marriage – and other LGBT issues – are changing in Michigan. The poll, conducted by the Glengariff Group of Chicago, showed a considerable increase in support for many gay issues, including a jump to 46.5 percent support of same-sex marriages.
In 2004, Proposal 2 was approved 58 percent to 42 percent.
Michigan Rep. Pam Byrnes (D-Lyndon Township) also recalled that same poll when announcing on June 12 that she will be submitting a resolution to the House of Representatives soon to let citizens vote to overturn Proposal 2.
She echoed her intentions both at the same Michigan Pride rally and at Ann Arbor's Tree Town Pride on June 20. "The attitude is changing. The polls are changing. It is time to bring this matter before the Michigan voters again," Rep. Byrnes said. "You and I all know this is not going to be easy. It's going to be a fight. But I'm willing to take on that fight for you and with you."
Under the plan set forth by Byrnes, the hope is that the House and Senate would pass the measure in time for it to go to voters in the November 2010 election – significantly earlier than Nemecek's deadline for the repeal. The resolution would also call for the recognition of same-sex marriages performed in other states.
Fellow supporters of the repeal in Michigan's legislature have been skeptical of Byrnes's timeline, including longtime LGBT supporter Rep. Alma Wheeler Smith (D-Salem). "She should be applauded," Smith said of Byrnes announcement. "This is an extraordinary challenge she has taken on, and I'm interested in seeing the strategy that is going to be used to get past the Michigan legislature. But I will be working with her, you will be working with her, and more power to us if we get it done."
In remarks to the crowd at the Capitol on June 12, however, Smith made reference to the 2012 date, and made note of the economic benefits of marriage equality. "We have to have cutting edge businesses here in the state of Michigan, and in order to attract those businesses, we have to be able to say to the employer that their employees – regardless of race, gender, sexual orientation or age – will be accorded the same rights as any other Michigan resident or citizen," she said at the rally. "… without this change in policy, Michigan isn't just perceived as not inclusive and not welcoming, it is not inclusive and it is unwelcoming. Until we turn this attitude around, Michigan cannot be as successful as we would be."
Nemecek agreed, but emphatically noted that equality cannot be reached – whether 2010, 2012 or beyond – without the help of the entire community. "I believe in you," Nemecek said at the rally to large cheers. "Make no mistake – a 2012 victory will require a lot of work and a lot of money. I think you are ready for both and willing to make that happen."
One couple's fight
And one Royal Oak-based couple is willing to stand up and do just that.
Jason Stevens and Todd Stofflet have had a fairy tale relationship. They met through mutual friends at Pronto! in Royal Oak, dated for three years, got engaged in New York City on the weekend of Jason's birthday and set a wedding date for August 15.
Only problem is, the couple lives in Michigan.
But with a wedding set aboard the Infinity and Ovation ships and plans to cross the border to tie the knot, the couple will fulfilled their dreams of having a wedding in their home state – and hope to use their special day to raise awareness.
"It's important for us to show that we are equal with everyone else and that we deserve all the rights and privileges that anyone else does," Stofflet, 33, said. "We're lucky enough to have a very good group of friends and family that love and respect us and appreciate us and believe that we are equal in every way and deserve the same benefits and rewards that a married couple has.
"I think it's important for us to do whatever we can to show that that's the way things should be and that's the way we live our lives."
Stevens, 34, agreed, adding that though he used to see marriage as something private, he now wants the world – especially closed-minded Michiganders – to know that they and other gay couples are getting hitched, marriage ban or not. "This is just one more layer of being out, which is the most important thing, because that's how you create awareness; that's how you help people understand that gay people aren't them vs. us," Stevens said. "I think that by being open about (our marriage) and not being secretive and not keeping a quiet little thing – if we can raise any kind of awareness, I think that's really important to both of us."
And as loyal Michiganders, the couple refuses to wed anywhere else – well, except maybe just across the border to Windsor on their yacht. "We're not running away," Stofflet insisted. "It's important to be able to (get married) here, where we live, in our home and include everyone without asking people to get passports or fly off to Iowa or Massachusetts or any of these other places where we don't have roots, we don't have support, we don't have a foundation. We have that all here."
Plus, the couple hopes to use their wedding to support local gay and gay-friendly businesses with all their arrangements – from location to flowers to photographers. As Stofflet put it: "It makes us feel good to be able to spend our money in our home, and hopefully help Detroit."
But more than economic help, the couple hopes to help the city and the state understand, accept and embrace gay couples and their relationships. For Stofflet and Stevens, it starts with urging guests to make donations to the Triangle Foundation in lieu of gifts.
The effort won't stop, however, until full marriage equality is achieved – a goal, the men say, that is easily within reach. "I think Michigan is full of a lot of college educated, intelligent, free-thinking people, and I think if they have their way and they get to the ballot box, I think justice will end up winning," Stevens said.
Stofflet added of the possible vote to repeal: "If (the community) is educated correctly as to what exactly that means for our community, I think that it'll be a resounding ‘yes' vote."
But like activists and politicians before him, Stofflet knows that equality is only achievable when everyone does their part. "We have to do everything we can to prove that we are equal citizens in this country and I think that means that if we have to get married 50 times in 50 states, we should do it," he said. "Living as equals and working and doing the same things that everybody else does is the best way to prove that we are that."
