By Rob Keeling
Viewpoint
There are times in your life when it's important to listen to your heart. Several years ago, I realized that there was enough room in my life and love in my heart to be a dad. So I embarked on an adoption journey that included months and months of applications, medical tests, background checks, home study visits and three trips to Guatemala. Although all new parents have fears about whether we're really ready, the love in my heart trumped any doubts in my mind.
Virginia faces an important test of its heart. The State Board of Social Services has reopened the public comment period on adoption/foster-care policies, giving the public until Oct. 11 to comment on whether Virginia should prevent child welfare agencies from discriminating against qualified loving parents simply because of their sexual orientation or family status.
In April, Max and I, along with dozens of other fair-minded Virginians, attended a public hearing on the matter. We heard from some faith-based groups who claimed the new policies would limit their religious freedom by requiring them to place children with gays and lesbians, against their religious beliefs. But none of these faith-based groups ever talked about what is best for Virginia's children who are looking for forever homes.
We tried then to change their minds and tell the board to include the anti-discrimination policies.
We reminded them that there are 6,000 children in our state's foster care system waiting for families; many of these children will age out of the system before finding a home.
We explained to them that child welfare agencies should consider only the best interests of the child when making a placement decision.
We encouraged them to look at the facts. Three decades of research prove that children raised by gay and lesbian parents have the same advantages and opportunities as children raised by straight parents.
We could not change their minds then.
But now, Virginia has another chance to listen to its heart.
Hundreds of comments are being posted online at http://www.townhall.virginia.gov telling the state board to rethink its position and give foster kids a chance for loving, stable families.
A recent Washington Post poll found that by an overwhelming margin – 55 to 35 percent – Virginia adults think gay and lesbian couples should be able to adopt a child in our state.
This spring, former Gov. Tim Kaine said that his feelings on the issue had evolved and that he now believes the best interests of the child are all that should matter in adoption.
And a coalition of nonpartisan groups, including the Child Welfare League of America, the National Black Justice Coalition and the Evan B. Donaldson Adoption Institute, have weighed in, calling to remove any barriers to foster care and adoption because every child deserves a loving family.
The simple fact is that Virginia already is home to many gay and lesbian parents successfully raising kids.
They are our friends, our neighbors and our co-workers.
The 2010 census report counted 20,500 same-sex couples in Virginia, 4,175 of whom are currently raising approximately 8,350 children. These families were counted in every area of our state, both urban and rural.
Some of those families would gladly open up their hearts to more kids in need if Virginia included anti-discrimination language in its adoption and foster care policies.
Max and I wouldn't be family if I hadn't listened to my heart. It's time that Virginia residents and the State Board of Social Services listen to theirs – because foster care youth in Virginia deserve every chance at finding a loving forever home, and it's up to us to make sure that happens.
Virginia, the children are calling on you – to listen to your heart.
Originally published Oct. 9, 2011
