Looking for love can be difficult in queer scene

Michael Chartrand and Christopher Leicht met online without being drawn to each other's preferred sexual position or penis size. But their tale isn't a common one.
Those seeking a long-term relationship shouldn't expect to find a keeper with a few clicks of their mouse. If it were so easy, we wouldn't be exploring the topic. People wouldn't be spending countless hours sifting through Internet chat rooms waiting and waiting.
Perhaps the Internet has made us lazy. It's lessened our social cues and made us dependent on sitting in front of a monitor waiting for that special someone to instant message us, when usually all we get are "stats?" or "looking?" And how do we even know the person we're speaking to isn't a figment of our imagination?
When Scott Howell of Beverly Hills, Mich., was 15, he met Sean in a gay teen chat room, Howell told The Advocate recently.
Sean told Howell he was British. He was moving down the street from Scott. Sean had perfect qualities: blond hair and blue eyes. And he was a soccer player.
"You know what they say: If it's too good to be true, it probably is," Howell told The Advocate.
Within a week of talking, he asked Scott to marry him. Then he disappeared. Later, they began speaking again. But still they never met.
"Although I now know that 'Sean' was most likely some old pervert preying on children and teenagers, back then I didn't see the signs. I truly loved the man I created in my head: Sean."
It's natural for people to mold their own "Potato Head" mate, but they should seek out others ways to find him or her.
The one we're waiting for won't magically appear at our doorstep – as Richard Cohen of Ann Arbor realized. Even Cinderella had to work for her Prince Charming. Go to a bar or join a social group. Try perusing Common Language Bookstore in Ann Arbor – or any local bookseller.
A BTL staff writer met his first love at a Barnes and Noble. In Livonia, of all cities. After watching him peruse the "Gay and Lesbian" section, the staff writer knew he had his catch. He just needed to hook him.
"My friends and I are going to see 'The Road To Perdition,' and I thought, well, would you – did you want to come?"
OK, not so smooth.
And the fellow ended up turning him down anyhow. But the next day he didn't have a choice when our reporter saw him rummaging through more gay books at Borders in Novi.
It could've been fate at an unlikely outlet. Or maybe the guy just liked gay erotica. But, either way, he captured his catch.
So, take a chance. Go to a bar or a local social group – or Barnes and Noble. Take a few deep breaths. And then, with Dr. Michael Chaney's advice, hook your bait. Because, the person you're eyeing might secretly being eyeing you, too.