Lukas Gage Wants You to Know the Messy Parts
‘White Lotus’ star opens up about queerness, code-switching, STIs and writing a memoir with a ‘little shade’
In a cultural moment where vulnerability is often curated and identity is endlessly scrutinized, Lukas Gage is choosing something braver: pure honesty. In his new memoir, “I Wrote This For Attention,” the 30-year-old actor and writer doesn’t pull punches, diving headfirst into the messiness of queerness, the humor that keeps us afloat and the uncomfortable but necessary truths about identity, shame, mental health and sex.
Known for his fearless and often buzzy roles in shows like “The White Lotus” (yes, that rimming scene), “Euphoria,” “You” and in films like “Companion” and “Smile 2,” Gage has built a career on pushing boundaries. Now, he’s doing the same on the page. Whether he’s casually recounting the time he had gonorrhea and chlamydia at the same time or unpacking the loneliness behind curated fame, Gage makes it clear: this isn’t about shock value. It’s about connection — especially with the teenage version of himself, and perhaps the teenage version of you — who needed a book like this.
Gage is a master of dichotomy here: vulnerable but never self-pitying, funny without deflection and refreshingly free of the usual PR polish. The actor proves that telling your story — especially a queer one, and especially now, when even the act of sharing it can feel rebellious — is, sure, cathartic but also radical. Told in a voice as biting as it is tender, “I Wrote This For Attention” straddles the line between chaos and clarity — always raw, often hilarious.
In this candid conversation, Gage reflects on the art of storytelling as survival, the power of humor as armor and what it means to reclaim your own narrative in a world that often writes it for you.
Is humor your way into vulnerability, or does the emotional core come first for you? And was that process a part of this book?
I think humor is the most underrated survival tool, and storytelling is also a way of survival. For me, with some of the traumatic stuff that I talk about in the book — and I do it in real life too — I talk about the lightest things with the most intense seriousness and the darkest things that happened in my life with a wink and a smile. Part of that is just the way that I cope with it, and also, kind of in a way, having power over it and not letting it consume me or make me feel shameful or small. So that was an important part of the storytelling. Something that's just true of me as a person is I like to lead with a little bit of humor with everything.
I think a lot of queer people feel that way and also use humor to defuse hard situations.
Yeah, and performing. Part of the queer identity is performing and putting on these masks.
Refreshingly, this book smashes so much stigma. You write openly about going to therapy, STIs and the messiness of queerness in general. Which piece gave you pause about putting out into the world?
I think there's backlash to being an oversharer and probably either the STDs or the mental health, but I think that we're moving forward as a culture — and hopefully shifting the paradigm — by talking about it so openly, and by not being riddled with shame when talking about these things that I don't believe should be shameful, but we're taught to be for some reason. I just watched Charlie Sheen's documentary. He is doing something so incredible by being open about his HIV status and being with men. For someone like him to be so candid and honest about that, that’s how we move forward, and not live in fear and shamefulness. So, yeah, there's definitely some worry that I say too much, but ultimately, why would I not?
You very matter-of-factly describe getting gonorrhea and chlamydia at the same time. I felt the power of just saying that aloud, and then moving on.
Yeah, you don't let it have ownership over you and you don’t let it make you feel small. Ultimately, it's so common and shouldn't be something that's met with embarrassment. And yeah, why not [go there]?
You’ve been in the public eye for a while now. What's a story in the book that allowed you to reclaim it from everyone else's version of what they thought it was?
There's this preconceived notion that you're just handed things, that your life is set. I just think there's been so much work that I've had to do, and so many obstacles that I've had to jump over. I wasn't handed things, and we are living in a culture where you can be famous overnight and in a minute, from one post, become a star. But also, there's more nuances to all of that, and I think we only show this curated version of ourselves, where we're living our best lives on Instagram — or at an award show, or on a talk show — but we don't see those moments in between. Existence feels so lonely, so sad and messy. I just feel like I don't show that part, and I don't get to show that part, and people see this very tiny version of myself. But there's just so much more to me than that.
We are living in one of the scariest, darkest times ever, and I guess it's important to me to have all these people feel seen and not feel like we need to be tied down and quiet. But there's fear of it, and I can't say that the timing was intentional at all, but it happened to work that way. It's important right now to stand up for what you believe in and not be quiet.
— Lukas Gage
Was telling that part of your story the reason you wrote the book?
I just always have loved reading, and I've loved nonfiction, especially just reading people that I admire and look up to, or people that I don't have a lot in common with, but I can find where we align and where I can see myself and them. I think that’s why I always gravitate toward memoir and nonfiction, and I knew I was always going to do it, I knew I always wanted to write. I said it as a kid, and to be completely honest with you, having the strike happen, that was the catalyst to writing the book right now. I had that free time and that whole year to dedicate to writing this book made me fast-forward the process of releasing it. But I do think it's important to be honest and to get everything out there. Breaking the stigmas, having these open conversations that lead to other people having open conversations — that's the hope of it. Also just to have people be entertained and have a good laugh while they read it.
We’re heading into more serious thoughts here, but I promise I have some unserious questions for you too.
I like this stuff too, though, so it's OK.
Well, good, because you're making me think about the timing of the release of this book and how important it is to tell queer stories right now given the anti-queer political climate. Where do you think the power lies in sharing your story given the attacks on LGBTQ+ people in the U.S.?
We are living in one of the scariest, darkest times ever, and I guess it's important to me to have all these people feel seen and not feel like we need to be tied down and quiet. But there's fear of it, and I can't say that the timing was intentional at all, but it happened to work that way. It's important right now to stand up for what you believe in and not be quiet. Being quiet and complicit and being silent is not the answer right now. But yeah, I'm scared every day, truly.
It’s easy to feel alone in all of this. I think of 15-year-old Lukas in rural Kansas who needs a story like this.
I just got chills, thank you. That's what it's about, truly. And like I said, we need humility and laughter and lightness in these times, but also if I can make, like you said, if the 15-year-old version of myself in rural Kansas who reads this book feels seen and feels heard and connected, that’s the goal of it. I wrote this for attention, but I'm hoping for connection.
Whose memoirs have been particularly inspirational for you while writing your own?
The two that come to mind are Julia Fox and Demi Moore. Julia Fox because of the addiction and the mental health aspect of it but also the heart of that story. When you think of Julia Fox, you think chaotic and messy and crazy and wild, but the heart of these female figures in her life that served as mother figures and role models, people that helped her get through the toughest times, was something I didn't expect to have so much heart in that book. And hopefully I have that with my book. The title is polarizing and loud on your face, but when you read it, you'll see it's so much more than that.
And both of them have a chronological, linear way of telling the story, but it never feels like there's a perfect redemption arc. It’s not tied with a ribbon at the end. It's still messy, it's still uneven at times. But that's life. And if it was too perfect and too clean and crisp, it wouldn't feel true to myself, so I appreciated that about them. I just think they're also amazing writers. They're incredibly gifted at telling a story and they're amazing artists as well.
Any hesitation knowing who would read your book?
Everyone who I am worried about reading it has read it, and I got their stamp of approval and made sure that everything I shared wasn't too revealing or too unfair in their perspective of what went down. So, no, I'm not really worried.
In the book, you describe an ex as looking like “if you gave an AI art generator the prompt, ‘The Hills Have Eyes’ character with an Equinox membership.” I cackled. Is writing something like that cathartic? Is it petty? Is it a little bit of both?
In talking about Demi and Julia Fox, part of what I love is they're saying the things that we all think but don't want to say out loud. I feel like that's part of what my book is: We all can universally connect with that feeling, or a lot of these feelings in these books, and we've all been guilty of dating somebody like that, or doing it just for artificial, physical reasons and nothing more.
I just wanted to kind of say the thing that people have all felt and wanted to say before. I don't know if it's so much about being catty — it was just kind of to make myself laugh. I thought it was funny. And maybe that's also reclaiming the narrative of it, because there was a lot of heartbreak in that story, and I felt really bummed out about it. So if I can make light of it and reflect on it later with a smile and a giggle and a little shade, that's OK, that's good. It’s healthy.
Read More
Ringwald Theatre's 'Silver Foxes' Delivers 'Golden Girls' Vibes — with a Queer, Palm Springs Twist
Picture it: Palm Springs, present day. Three older gay men rescue their best friend from a homophobic assisted living facility, befriend his younger boyfriend [...]
John Waters Doesn't Want Your Approval — and That's Why We Still Need Him
John Waters doesn’t just embrace contradiction — he lives in it. A filmmaker, writer, visual artist and cultural icon, Waters has spent over half a [...]
From Banned to Beloved: How Queer Comics Found Their Voice at Michigan's Vault of Midnight
When Jacki Van Tuyle started working at Vault of Midnight, she knew the Ann Arbor-based comic shop was different. Unlike the "dusty, kind of quiet places with [...]
Stand with Ban the Book Fest, Gather at Corktown Health Gala, Celebrate Latin Heritage Month
Fall in Michigan means pumpkins on porches, flannels in closets and event calendars bursting with community happenings. This roundup brings you everything from [...]
Russell Tovey on 'Plainclothes' as a Political Wake-Up Call and the Urgency for Queer Visibility in Film
Russell Tovey has always possessed a low-key magnetism in his work — one that goes beyond his appearance — whether starring in the queer HBO series [...]
Big Freedia on Queer Faith, Why She's Grateful to Beyoncé and Going Back to Church With ‘Pressing Onward’
Big Freedia’s voice has always been a force — loud, joyful, defiant — but on her new album, “Pressing Onward,” it becomes [...]
