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By |2006-02-02T09:00:00-05:00February 2nd, 2006|Entertainment|
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End of the Spear
Missionary Nate Saint (Chad Allen) goes to South America to work with, evangelize, and tame the violent Waodani tribe. They’re a fervently warring bunch, and for his efforts he is killed. Years later, his son Steve (also played by Allen) returns to the tribe in an effort to reconcile his father’s death. This classic “turn the other cheek” tale is a true story, one soaking in the kind of good intentions so typical of unwanted missionaries. It’s also beautifully photographed and meant to be a cinematic vehicle for peacemaking. But the film still gets bogged down in messy ulterior religious motives, no matter how hard it tries to stay out of the saintly mire.

Grade: C+ Kinsey Scale: 1 (Allen is openly gay.)

Little Red Riding Hood (the voice of Anne Hathaway) goes to Granny’s (Glenn Close) with her traditional basket of goodies, and crosses paths with the Wolf (Patrick Warburton) and the Woodsman (Jim Belushi), but the similarities to the story everyone knows end there. What follows in this wanna-be hip, “Shrek”-impersonating effort is a he-said, she-said, Wolf-said, Granny-said table-turning on the old fairy tale. Too bad it’s glib, unfunny, and annoying instead of witty, clever, and endearing. Worse, the animation is shoddy and soulless, exactly the opposite of the sterling work of the Pixar crew. Small children may not notice the difference, but their adult chaperones will wish they’d never taken this walk in the woods.

Grade: C- Kinsey Scale: 1 (Close played a lesbian in “Serving in Silence: The Margarethe Cammermeyer Story,” and Hathaway co-starred in “Brokeback Mountain.” Queer co-star Andy Dick voices a bunny named Boingo.)

The New World
When Captain John Smith (Colin Farrell) and his band of English outcast adventurers landed on what became the United States, they had no idea how to live there. So they suffered. It was only through contact with local Native Americans that they were able to survive. The Native Americans’ reward was, of course, animosity and abuse. But that was only part of the story. The other part was a swooning romance between Smith and Pocahontas (15-year-old newcomer Q’orianka Kilcher), one that would eventually see the young woman enduring her own culture shock as a stranger in England. This is a gorgeous, meditative trip back to the 17th century, thanks to mood-and-tone-and-cinematography-obsessed director Terrence Malick. It may lack the kind of plot-driven mechanics most people demand when they watch a historical drama, but it’s got plenty to reward the patient, mature viewer.

Grade: A Kinsey Scale: 1 (Farrell played a bisexual character in “A Home at the End of the World” and starred in the de-gayed “Alexander.” Co-star Christian Bale played gay in “Velvet Goldmine.”)


Brokeback Mountain
Cowboys Ennis (Heath Ledger) and Jack (Jake Gyllenhaal) fall into a passionate affair on Wyoming’s Brokeback Mountain in 1963, retreating back into straight lives at summer’s end. Finding that wives and children are no substitute for the soul mate they found in one another, they reunite in stolen moments over two decades, intent on recapturing the joy of that magical summer. Director Ang Lee has fashioned from Annie Proulx’s intimate short story a poignant and visually stunning epic romance limning a love that somehow survives despite the rigid social convention and internalized homophobia that threaten to smother it. Ledger and Gyllenhaal share a truly combustible chemistry, but it is Ledger’s heartbreaking performance as taciturn, repressed Ennis that transforms this drama from merely good to something great.

Grade: A Kinsey Scale: 6 (Even before this highly touted film hit theaters, conservative organs such as the Drudge Report have been busy trying to deny the existence of gay cowboys, despite the fact that members of Calgary Gay Rodeo Association served as technical advisers and appear in the film’s rodeo scenes. Lee’s breakthrough film in the United States was the queer-themed “The Wedding Banquet,” while co-star Michelle Williams made her name on the queer-friendly “Dawson’s Creek” and appeared in the lesbian comedy “But I’m a Cheerleader.”)

Legendary Venetian lover Giacomo Casanova (Heath Ledger) must marry before a papal inquisition catches up with him and hangs him for fornication. No sooner has he proposed to besotted Victoria (Natalie Dormer) than he falls for sassy feminist Francesca Bruni (Sienna Miller), who is herself engaged to Papprizzio (Oliver Platt), the lard king of Genoa. Lasse Hallstrom’s fluffy romantic comedy is a hoot, a fractured fairytale that piles on false identities, outright lies, and mistaken assumptions. Ledger is a bit young to be playing such a storied figure, but makes up for what he lacks in gravity with immense charm. The entire cast attacks their roles with palpable enthusiasm as Hallstrom offers a vision of 18th-century Venice as a sun-kissed paradise of romance and subversion.

Grade: B Kinsey Scale: 1 (Ledger’s role as a closeted, taciturn ranch hand in “Brokeback Mountain” has made him a favorite in the upcoming Oscar race. Co-star Jeremy Irons played a gay impresario in “Forever Callas” and starred in the gender-bending drama “M. Butterfly.” Screenwriter Jeffrey Hatcher wrote “Stage Beauty.”)

Cheaper by the Dozen 2
When Tom Baker (Steve Martin) decides to take his plus-sized family on vacation, he runs into his old rival Jimmy Murtaugh (Eugene Levy). The Murtaughs have fewer children – a mere eight compared to the Bakers’ dozen – but they’re more dedicated to dominating everything they touch. And so the competition begins, all the way down to the tiniest of the 20 kids. It’s the kind of movie that will engage elementary-school-aged viewers (people fall down a lot and get involved in other physical mishaps) and won’t raise their parents’ boredom threshold too much. With its slight offering of truly funny moments, this is completely unnecessary viewing for anyone without a very short person in tow who needs 100 minutes of safe entertainment.

Grade: C+ Kinsey Scale: 1 (Martin appeared in “And the Band Played On,” and director Adam Shankman is openly gay.)

The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe
Four siblings discover a passage to the magical kingdom of Narnia tucked in the back of a closet. Perpetual winter grips the land ruled by the cruel White Witch (Tilda Swinton), but the children’s visit, coupled with lion king Aslan’s return, holds promise that spring might now arrive. Special effects and hard-charging action scenes trump storytelling in this heavy-handed adaptation of C.S. Lewis’ classic allegory. Swinton is perfect as the ice-hearted enchantress, a shining jewel in a movie that is otherwise mired in mediocrity. The book makes an awkward transformation to screen, providing many unintentional laughs along the way. Mr. and Mrs. Beaver, for example, may be charming on the page, but rendered as talking animated animals on film, they are simply ridiculous.

Grade: C Kinsey Scale: 1 (Swinton was a close collaborator of the late queer director Derek Jarman and has appeared in many gay-themed films. Co-star Jim Broadbent appeared in “The Crying Game,” while animal characters are voiced by out actor Rupert Everett and “Kinsey” star Liam Neeson.)

Fun with Dick and Jane
In this remake of the 1977 George Segal/Jane Fonda comedy, Dick (Jim Carrey) is a wealthy executive at Globodyne Corporation who loses his job when the CEO (Alec Baldwin) quits, taking 400 million dollars with him and bankrupting the company. Dick and his wife, Jane (Tea Leoni), quickly spend their savings and take up robbery as a way to pay the bills. But anyone who’s expecting piercing socioeconomic critique is advised to look away from the lame pile-up of unfunny gags and unfocused satire. This Bonnie and Clyde are only separated from Dick’s corrupt former boss by the means they use to accomplish the job. Their crimes aren’t about sticking it to The Man, but about making sure they remain pampered, mindlessly consuming suburbanites with a reliable housekeeper. Rooting for them is as pointless as Carrey’s irritating face-making and pratfalls.

Grade: D Kinsey Scale: 1 (In one brief scene, Leoni and Carrey cross-dress as Sonny and Cher. In his early career, Carrey played gay characters in sketches on “In Living Color,” and was in the gay-themed TV movie “Doing Time on Maple Drive.” Leoni had a small part in the mildly lesbian-flavored “A League of Their Own.”)

Glory Road
Hired to coach the basketball squad at El Paso’s Texas Western, Don Haskins (Josh Lucas) aggressively recruits African-American players. The new policy scandalizes the alumni, but the Cinderella team goes all the way to the 1966 NCAA finals, where Haskins breaks precedent by fielding an all-black team in the championship game. With this fact-based, inspirational drama, first-time director James Gartner and his winning cast capture both the excitement of the game and the gradual bonding of the players into a cohesive unit. It is an admirable effort about a watershed moment in the history of the game, but this latest entry into the increasingly crowded sports genre offers nothing new. Pleasant and occasionally thrilling, it is also completely unexceptional and thoroughly predictable.

Grade: B- Kinsey Scale: 1 (Lucas played a gay character in “The Deep End.” Co-star Mehcad Brooks is part of the ensemble on the queer-friendly “Desperate Housewives,” and co-star Jon Voight’s breakthrough role was in the gay-themed drama “Midnight Cowboy.”)

Paxton (Jay Hernandez) and Josh (Derek Richardson) are two “ugly American” students backpacking through Europe with two goals in mind: getting sex and getting high. While in Amsterdam, they meet a young man who tells them the real action is in an anything-goes youth hostel in Slovakia. But what they find there is a kind of party more gruesome than what they’d bargained for. To tell more about the plot would be to spoil the truly sickening twists that await the viewer of this oddly funny, well-made bit of shock cinema. Just be warned that you might want to come prepared with a cast-iron stomach. It’s a throat-grabbing horror film, one full of brutal torture and gut-wrenching violence. Whether you enjoy this movie depends on your own tolerance for gore.

{ITAL Grade: B
Kinsey Scale: 2 (There are typical hetero frat boy comments about such-and-such thing being “gay,” and there is a gay character who plays a part in the unfolding horror. To say more would constitute a “spoiler.”)}

King Kong
Movie director Carl Denham (Jack Black) travels to a remote South Seas island on location to finish the picture he’s making. There he and his crew discover a giant gorilla, in addition to some murderous natives and carnivorous dinosaurs. The big, hairy beast takes a liking to Denham’s lead actress, Ann Darrow (Naomi Watts), and Denham takes a liking to the idea of selling tickets to see the enormous simian he names “Kong,” the consequences only unknown to the youngest viewers of this thoroughly entertaining remake. The three-hour running time may seem off-putting at first, but “Lord of the Rings” director Peter Jackson packs every minute with momentum and, once on the island, fantastic digitally enhanced adventure. The amazing animated creatures will keep you riveted, and the sad-eyed, love-struck Kong will break your heart.

Grade: A- Kinsey Scale: 1 (Naomi Watts starred as a bisexual actress in “Mulholland Drive.”)

Last Holiday
After being told she only has weeks to live, New Orleans clerk Georgia Byrd (Queen Latifah) chucks her job and heads for Europe. At a lavish Czech resort, she charms celebrity chef Didier (Gerard Depardieu) and Louisiana Senator Dillings (Giancarlo Esposito), but arouses the suspicion of crooked retail magnate Matthew Kragen (Timothy Hutton), who finds her too good to be true. It’s easy to see what Didier, Dillings, and hometown honey Sean (LL Cool J) see in Georgia – as embodied by Latifah, she is disarmingly frank and gloriously sensual. She is adorable in this benign screwball comedy where an attractive cast, a gorgeous alpine setting, and the unintended poignancy of a pre-Katrina Big Easy compensate for a tissue-thin story and jokes that fall flat.

Grade: B Kinsey Scale: 1 (There is one mild lesbian joke. Latifah played a lesbian in “Set It Off” and earned an Oscar nod for her role in “Chicago.” Among her co-stars, many have queer credits, including Depardieu, Esposito, Hutton, Michael Nouri, and Alicia Witt.)

Match Point
The future looks bright for ex-tennis pro Chris Wilton (Jonathan Rhys-Meyers) after his wealthy new friend Tom Hewett’s (Matthew Goode) sister Chloe (Emily Mortimer) falls in love with him. Chris is looking forward to sharing her comfortable life, but sexual obsession threatens to unravel his plans after he falls under the spell of Tom’s seductive fiancee Nola (Scarlett Johansson). That quintessential New Yorker Woody Allen relocates to London for this unusual thriller. With little humor and no character on hand to embody Allen’s neurotic persona, it is a Woody Allen film unlike any other. The emphasis is on psychology, and the plot often threatens to unravel. But Chris is a fascinating piece of work, and his actions are consistently enthralling in Allen’s best film in years.

Grade: B+ Kinsey Scale: 1 (Rhys-Meyers’ has appeared in several gay-themed films, and his breakthrough role was as a bisexual rock star in queer director Todd Haynes’ “Velvet Goldmine.” Co-star Brian Cox had roles in the AIDS drama “The Lost Language of Cranes” and the queer coming-of-age drama “L.I.E..”)

Memoirs of a Geisha
In the years before World War II, Sayuri (Ziyi Zhang) is taken from poverty to work as a servant in a geisha house. She grows up there, is taught the life and rules of being a geisha, and eventually becomes the most celebrated and beautiful of them all. She has an intense rivalry with diva-geisha Hatsumomo (Gong Li), but her real downfall might be the forbidden love she feels for a man known as The Chairman (Ken Watanabe). This very old-fashioned movie aims right for the lush “Oriental” middle, which some audiences might find offensive – the dialogue in particular is stilted and strange, full of Hollywood ideas about how Asians speak broken English. But if looking at pretty people in pretty settings – and there is that in abundance – is all you need to be entertained, then this by-the-numbers melodrama will hit the spot.

Grade: B- Kinsey Scale: 1 (Gay director Rob Marshall also directed “Chicago.”)

In the wake of the slaughter of Israeli athletes by Palestinian terrorists at the 1972 Munich Olympic games, Mossad agent Avner (Eric Bana) and four other men are recruited to locate and assassinate the men Israel holds responsible for the attack. Except for the drama’s final, misbegotten 15 minutes, director Steven Spielberg eschews his usual sentimentality and heavy-handedness to limn a devastating portrait of good people caught in an impossible situation. To do what their government considers the right thing puts their souls and their sanity at risk, while making them all targets in an ever-escalating, perpetual cycle of violence. There is no black and white in Tony Kushner and Eric Roth’s literate screenplay, only shades of gray awash in blood.

Grade: B+ Kinsey Scale: 1 (Gay playwright Kushner won the Pulitzer Prize for his epic AIDS drama “Angels in America.” Co-star Daniel Craig played painter Francis Bacon’s rough-trade lover in “Love Is the Devil.”)

Tristan & Isolde
During the Dark Ages, while warring tribes in Britain threaten to destroy each other, Tristan (James Franco) and Isolde (Sophia Myles) fall in love. The problem? They’re from opposing sides of the conflict. And when Isolde is given in marriage to Lord Marke (Rufus Sewell), a man who also happens to be Tristan’s adoptive father, the young lovers embark on a secret romance that leads to disaster. It’s epic tragedy, but the true tragedy is the film’s inability to be anything less than tedious. The action sequences lack impact, the romance is dour, and the leads don’t ignite the grand passions necessary to carry it off; Tristan is especially inert, stoic, and wooden. To call this misfire an also-ran “Romeo and Juliet” is to insult Shakespeare.

Grade: D Kinsey Scale: 1 (Franco played bisexual James Dean in a TV movie. Sewell co-starred in the gay-themed film “A Man of No Importance,” as well as in the John Schlesinger-directed “Cold Comfort Farm.”)

The White Countess
Widowed White Russian countess Sofia Belinsky (Natasha Richardson) supports her family in 1930s Shanghai by taxi dancing in a sleazy dive. There she meets blind diplomat Todd Jackson (Ralph Fiennes) who needs a hostess for his new nightclub. She agrees to work for him, only to discover that he is even more emotionally damaged than she is. Richardson and Fiennes are gorgeous, but they generate no heat together, and their characters are such dead souls that their growing attachment rings false. This lengthy romantic drama from director James Ivory – his final collaboration with producer and life partner Ismail Merchant – simply never catches fire. It is a visual treat, evoking the glamorous decadence of prewar China, but there is little substance beneath the glossy surface.

Grade: C Kinsey Scale: 1 (Merchant/Ivory often adapted the work of queer writers, such as E.M. Forrester and Virginia Woolf, and among their films are the gay-themed “Maurice” and “The Bostonians.” Fiennes played legendary queer adventurer T.E. Lawrence in a TV movie, while Richardson starred on stage in “Cabaret.” Co-stars Vanessa Redgrave, Lynn Redgrave, Allan Corduner, and Madeleine Potter have all appeared in gay-themed films.)

About the Author:

BTL Staff
Between The Lines has been publishing LGBTQ-related content in Southeast Michigan since the early '90s. This year marks the publication's 27th anniversary.