Somewhere over the rainbow in the fabled Land of OZ there were rumors circulating like chatterbox whirlwinds that the latest, newly appointed Wizard of OZ is transgender.
It wasn’t a sure thing who was responsible for this startling insight: Z-Anon, FLUX News, or Gaydar Enterprises International. Perhaps all three.
Nonetheless, Over the Rainbow Dorothy, who prides herself on what she said was her one-of-a-kind vocal, sing-a-song cisgendering, iPhoned her fabled companions on the MGM Yellow Brick Road.
She was very concerned. Worried about the Tin Woodman, Scarecrow and the Cowardly Lion. Worried about what their entertainment fans might think.
“Hey, bosom buddies! The world has changed since we got together in 1939 for our debut. Seems like these days everybody wants to get into the act. One way or another.”
“If it’s true (and Heaven only knows) that our Beloved Wizard is transgender, or depending on the role she, he, s/he, they must play, binary or non-binary) we need to follow suit (or dress, as the case might be).”
“So, here’s some wholesome advice from my Auntie Em who lives in Kansas (Need I say more?): Tin Woodman: “Don’t deny it. Everyone know you’re bisexual. You like soldiers as well as sailors. Be proud of that fact.”
“Truth of the matter is, you now can join the Army or Navy if you’re so inclined to do so.
“Scarecrow, don’t be concerned about your inner straw. Just say you’re transitioning to high-quality, COVID-19 twice-vaccinated sawdust.”
“And, last but not least, Cowardly Lion: There’s a new label that just might cover all your shortcomings. Proudly tell your fans that even though you’re either/or, you’re asexual when it comes to politics and other like-related porn. You can either roar or purr.”
(Just let Toto out to pee if need be, when casting your lifetime ballot.)