After Thwarted Kidnapping Plans, Whitmer Calls for Unity

Gov. Gretchen Whitmer addressed the State of Michigan after a plan to kidnap her and other Michigan government officials was thwarted by state and federal law enforcement agencies. She started by saying thank you to law enforcement and FBI agents who participated in stopping this [...]

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Parting Glances: OZ goes Drag Queen Bingo!

By |2020-05-06T13:36:48-04:00May 6th, 2020|Opinions, Parting Glances|

“It’s been 80 years this year since we debuted in the movies,” said Scarecrow on ZOOM to Tin Man, Cowardly Lion, Aunty Em, Glenda the Good Witch, and starlet Dorothy.
“The weathers horrid, wild and persistently wicked. So gloomy! Time to do something special, while we’re still young. At least in everybody’s memory, that is.”
“OK, Scarecrow. Anything to break this scary isolation. What do you suggest?” replied ever-bored Tin Man, flexing his metallic biceps.
“Listen, guys. I know it’s far out. But how about Drag Queen Bingo at OZ Club 2020. And, just maybe we can get our Dorothy a booking.”
Excited, Scarecrow, Tin Man, Cowardly Lion, and a little nervous Dorothy (her voice was wearing somewhat thinner in the upper registers since 1939) once more followed the fabled Yellow Brick Road to 45 Presidential Drive, at Impeach Blvd.
Strangely, the Yellow Brick Road was littered with a strange, sticky debris.
“Hey! If you’ll think we might be seen going there (it’s not MGM politically correct), we could wear masks. Just a suggestion,” cautioned Scarecrow, who secretly loved costume changes.
Rumor has it that the drag queens that auspicious night were from big-time City D.C. Wherever that is, wondered Cowardly Lion. “As in deceit, no doubt.”
The Club 2020 Stage was brightly lit! Music blared loudly! Stars and Stripes Forever! And three drag queens in red, white, and blue matching chiffons appeared! Pearl Harbor! Amazing Grace! Connie Karaoke.
The three held silver/gold embroidered gloved hands, blew kisses to each other. Bowed. Encouraged the scattered applause to get louder. LOUDER! LOUDER! LOUDER! Then sat down around the 2020 Bingo Wheel of Fortune for a spin.
“Oh, hold on just an everlovin’ puss-in-boots minute!” vocally ejaculated Pearl Harbor. “Tonight’s your lucky night bingo buddies. All bingo numbers I (as in you, and Big ME) on your cards are free on the house of OZ 2020 Club!”
Just as Scarecrow was about to do a double-take of his dozen or so cards laid out before him, seeing what advantage that afforded him, he was startled to hear Amazing Grace bless the scattered crowd gathered with, “And for Bingo Night goodness sake: all Os are in free too!”
Sadly that night, however, Scarecrow, Tin Man, Cowardly Lion, and Dorothy didn’t win a damn thing.
And, as they were leaving the OZ Club 2020, they got unexpectedly accosted by Connie Karaoke.
“Say, isn’t your name Dorothy, young lady? You look familiar. You’re a singer, if I recall correctly. (My memory’s not what it use to be.) Hey, by any chance do you know two of my favorites melodies: “God Bless America” and “Dark Side of the Moon”?
That unforgettable night Scarecrow, Tin Man, Cowardly Lion, and Dorothy tightened their protecting disguises and returned home to (God Only Knows Where).
While hovering overhead on the celestial horizon a chorus of radiant stars sang “Somewhere Over the Rainbow.” Just the way all hopeful OZ stories should conclude.

About the Author:

Charles Alexander