Parting Glances: When in Rome … Slam Doors

By |2018-10-03T13:18:56-04:00October 3rd, 2018|Opinions, Parting Glances|

One of Rome’s more prolific male escorts — who goes by the name of Francesco Mangiacapra, and the nickname Mangi-Me-I-Mangi-you — decided recently to give the Vatican a queerful, earful.
Mangiacapra, who claims he no longer can put up with the rampant hypocrisy of 34 ‘actively gay’ priests — presumably members of his extensive theological clients in need of penis, er, penance remissions — sent to select members of the Holy See a 1,200 page dossier on 34 priests and six seminarians. Clients all.
As a gesture of Roman Catholic good will, Mangiacapra’s compilation of names and accusations of the Roman Catholic offending, near occasion of sin, theocratic tops and bottoms, was sent by — Hail Marys, full of disgrace — imprimatur of the Archdiocese of Naples.
Says Mangiacapra, “My aim is not to hurt the people mentioned, but to help them understand their double life, however seemingly convenient, is not useful to them or to all the people for whom they should be a guide and an example to follow.”
Mangiacapra’s comments were reported by the prestigious Courier della Sera. With the succinct comment — one assumes it is the Naples newspaper cohort expounding — “It’s indeed remarkable that this male escort exhibits such spiritual goodwill in his candid remarks, and, at the same time shows a grammatical fluency so often lacking among, and between, Catholic, Protestant, Southern Baptist sexual hustlers!”
“Remarkable too is the reservation shown by Mangiacapra in that he lists neither priestly repeats of his Christian lip services, nor a cost analysis of varied performance of his standing or kneeling, genuflection skills during week days, Sundays, Easter, Christmas or Holy Days of Client Obligation.”
Worthy also sharing is an item taken recently from one of Rome’s sagacious journals, The Daily Beast, written by one Barbie Latzu Nadeau, who, one might assume with some justification, probably goes by the alias Barbie Doll, when reporting on salacious Roman Catholic scandals with enticing lead sentences.
“Nosy neighbors are never a good thing,” Nadeau said. “Especially if you are a monsignor hosting orgies and your neighbors are cardinals.”
Barbie Doll continues, “It all started with the usual complaints from disgruntled neighbors: funny smells, slamming doors, loud music, the sound of squeaky beds and laughter late into the night.
“In almost any other situation anywhere is the world, the angry neighbors would have confronted the noisy tenant, maybe left a mean note on the door or complained to the landlord and the matter would would be settled. …”
Alas. Dear Parting Glance spiritual novices, Roman Catholic life of late, as we all ruefully know, is not that simple.
“But this particular dispute occurred in one of the most prestigious addresses in Rome, the so-called Ex Sant’Uffizio Palace, in the very apartment owned by the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith,” Nadeau said. “This is where our once beloved Joseph Ratzinger lived for decades before becoming Pope Benedict XVI.”
The papal teaser continues with this elaboration, “The Vatican police showed up to find an orgy in progress, with an untold number of naked men allegedly writhing around on the floor with Luigi Capozzi — who heads the Vatican’s Pontifical Council for Legislative Texts — and his cohorts, under the influence of hard drugs.”
Barbie Doll concludes, “Calls to the Swiss Guard turned up neither confirmations nor denials, but Luigi Capozzi is no longer on his his job.”
And, as we all know, Pope Benedict XVI stepped down from his recently expunged temporal, not eternal, glory.
Addendum to the aforegoing expose: Whether the Swiss Guard turned up for the ongoing orgy or not isn’t clear from Barbie Doll’s article. One can only hope. Earlier article “funny smells” mentioned were probably patchouli-scented votive candles.
Oh, yes. The reading of this redemptive Parting Glances comes with 30 days indulgence, courtesy of Between The Lines and Monsignor Alexander, Blessed Society of Gee Whiz. What you indulge in is your own redemptive business. Amen. Ah-men! Whoever.

About the Author:

Charles Alexander