By Imani Williams
Washington D.C. author Lee Hayes is a self-described southern gentleman who originally hails from Tyler, a small town in East Texas. A gay man, he sees himself as a friend, lover, brother, uncle and cousin. "Being gay is a part of my identity that I'm proud of," says Hayes, 32. "I see myself as a diamond in the rough and an evolving creature that is excited about whom I am and who I'm becoming."
Hayes signed on with Strebor Books International in September of 2000, with his debut novel "Passion Marks." The first book focused on an abusive relationship between Kevin and his suicidal/homicidal lover James. Hayes says he chose to put his energy into bringing this taboo subject to light because no one had tackled the issue before in this genre.
He was the first same gender loving male signed by Strebor. Hayes says his sexuality was never an issue with the publisher. Hayes describes Zane, the widely acclaimed African-American erotic fiction writer and Strebor Books creator as, "An incredibly open woman who welcomes fresh ideas."
Hayes sees same-sex domestic violence as very prevalent in today's culture. While experts say it happens in about 25 percent of all relationships, Hayes confirms seeing it quite often within his small circle of friends. He says he often learns of abuse after a couple has parted ways. "You see glimpses of it all the time, with people arguing in the club," he says. "We don't know how far it escalates once they get home and are behind closed doors."
In "A Deeper Blue: Passion Marks II" Hayes tackles monogamy. "Monogamy, is extremely important to me, which is why it is consistent in my writing," he says. "People don't know what it means and they don't respect it."
Hayes says there are couples who have been together for five years or more who cease to be together because someone wasn't faithful. The relationship dissolves over a half hour of illicit behavior. "We spend all this time building a relationship and throw it away over someone who doesn't mean anything," he says.
Hayes says he often tells his friends that he feels black gay men lack a sense of morality and that anything goes. "We as gay black men need to start valuing what we have so that we're not alone and lonely at 60," he says. "We need to love ourselves and love who we are with."
In "Passion Marks II" there is an act of betrayal between his characters Kevin and Daryl that puts the couple's relationship on shaky ground.
The author gives some sound advice for those healing following a betrayal in matters of the heart. "People tend to enter into a relationship stating some idea of what they want out of it," he says. "They should also include what they won't deal with in that formula." He believes that a person needs to be upfront with what they won't put up with in the very beginning and stick with it. "If you say you won't tolerate cheating and your lover cheats, you need to love yourself enough to stick to your values."
The same rule applies to domestic violence in relationships. Hayes feels you have to let your mate know that you won't put up with any violence. If they hit you, you need to be able to say you won't allow that type of behavior and move on, he says. "Love is good, but you have to love yourself as well."
Hayes is getting a lot of response from heterosexual single women who are quickly becoming fans of his writing. They often state in their emails that they are surprised at how similar a SGL relationship is to what they have experienced. To that Hayes says, "Why would it be different? Issues and dynamics remain the same in relationships regardless to gender."
