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Proud in D-list land

Chris Azzopardi

An Evening with Kathy Griffin
8 p.m. Oct. 20
Eastern Michigan's Convocation Center
Tickets: $35-$40
Online: http://www.emich.edu/convocation

If there's one downfall to being a D-lister, it's getting hassled while waiting for a dip-top ice cream at Dairy Queen. Just ask Kathy Griffin, who spent seven minutes at a Pennsylvania DQ's drive thru waiting for her "Oprah"-inspired treat while the staff debated her identity.
"They're like, 'Is it Kathie Lee Gifford?'" Griffin tells Between The Lines.
Griffin got antsy for her crunchy covered ice cream. Finally, she asked, "Can you guys debate my talent level after my dip-top please?"
From the Ritz Carleton in Philadelphia, the comedian paints an all too-familiar scenario. But one that she's not ready to bow out of. "When you're on the D-list that just happens constantly."

Griffin and her gays

But if "singers" can lip-sync to a backing tape on late-night TV shows and keep a record deal, even a D-lister can find work. After performing show after show over the weekend, the famous funnywoman has the day off before more of her "crazy monster tour," which includes a gig at 8 p.m. Oct. 20 at Eastern Michigan University's Convocation Center.
"Now, are the gays gonna come out and see me in Ypsi?" Griffin asks.
The answer seems obvious and Griffin continues, "The more gay people and students, the better."
Griffin's gay fan following shouldn't shock anyone by now. She's frequently referenced her gays on the Bravo reality series "Kathy Griffin: My Life On The D-List" and has publicly pointed out Clay Aiken's queer cues.
"I love 'em," she says.
Griffin equates performing her outrageous stand-up for gays to doing the same with the troops in Iraq and Afghanistan. Both are broad-minded. Both are rowdy. Both are out to loosen up.
"They don't mind one bit if you say something politically incorrect or outrageous, and they're along for the ride. And that's what I really love and appreciate about gay audiences."
But while overseas, Griffin became aware that gay people and troops overlap – and, with her gaydar in high gear, found more than a few homo military personnel.
"A few? How about 10 percent?" she guesses.
She's shocked by how the armed forces are in denial that gay people do serve in the military. And being around the soldiers was intense because although she could easily pinpoint the gays, she couldn't out them.
"There's no discussions of 'Project Runway,'" she laughs.
Griffin, who's been a homo magnet since high school, notes that she and the gays think alike. She, like many of her queer fans, relishes pop culture. She's also "down with the struggle." But mastering "fabulous" status is still a work in progress.
"God knows I don't achieve it," she laughs. "But I do try."

Hated in Hollywood

Although Griffin has pissed off plenty of Hollywood, it hasn't come without a price. She's upset fellow actor and friend Andy Dick (with whom she's recently mended old wounds). She ticked off "American Idol" host Ryan Seacrest on several occasions.
Although she lost her E! Emmy Awards red carpet gig to the metrosexual, she still walked it earlier this year. This time as a nominee. "That was pretty sweet," she starts.
"I then lost. But that's life on the D-list."
And although she stands by all her Seacrest blows, her celebrity banter, which has included stabs at child actress Dakota Fanning and Whitney Houston, often comes back to bite her.
"I say things I feel terrible about afterwards or I say things and I think, 'Oh god I went too far.' (But) I really feel strongly that that's the nature of comedy. … You can't censor yourself."
Even with nonstop celebrity fodder to work with, Griffin's fondest celebrity to poke fun at is Oprah Winfrey.
"Oprah is the gift that keeps on giving," she says.
Case in point: Oprah and Gayle's rumored lesbian rendezvous. The talk show host and her close friend's denial of the allegations gives Griffin an uncomfortable laugh. It reminds her of gay friends telling stories about their dad walking in on them in high school when they had a study buddy over.
"One of their buddies was in the closet with the pants down and they were trying to tell their dad it was a study partner," she says. "I would say it was that kind of laugh."
While working for E!, Griffin received a call from Star Jones' camp asking her to agree through a contract that she wouldn't ridicule "The View" castaway.
"I just said, 'I just can't do that. Once I do that for one person, that's it.' (Plus) there's no comedian in the world that's gonna agree to take Star Jones out of their act," she laughs.
Jones, of all people, should know that Griffin can't resist stabs at her rumored-to-be gay hubby. After all, anyone's game for Griffin.
"It's whoever's behaving badly," Griffin laughs.

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