By Jack Fertig
Choose guests carefully, Scorpio!
Mars in Libra is already dithery, but in quincunx to Uranus in Pisces, it will be a miracle if anything gets done! Pick a partner and agree on a direction. Mistakes are inevitable and adjustments will be necessary, but you’ll get nowhere if you don’t get going somewhere!
ARIES (March 20 – April 19): You normally work best solo, but teamwork is important now, even though it’s especially befuddling. Others are taking too much initiative and doing too much first-guessing, and you are the most usual suspect. Communication is the key!
TAURUS (April 20 – May 20): Teasing arguments easily get out of hand. How you play with others will be noticed by higher-ups and easily misinterpreted. Cooperation is very important now, but keep it clean!
GEMINI (May 21- June 20): To get at what’s really bothering you, escort a friend or older relative to a worship service. The more discomfort you tolerate in the process, the more insight you could gain from the experience. Once is quite enough!
CANCER (June 21- July 22): Your mouth is running too fast and nasty. Titillating your pals is fine, but be attentive to your situation and guard your secrets! Outing friends who need discretion is not cool – unless they’re facilitating homophobic legislation!
LEO (July 23 – August 22): Arguments about money are almost inevitable. Robin Hood fantasies or other class-war role play could make it fun. You may as well make it a game, as serious issues will not be resolved. You should still take time out to examine issues and make some adjustments.
VIRGO (August 23 – September 22): Mixed messages about your health are coming up. Of course, that causes stress, and pushing yourself too hard – especially at exercise – is sure to cause damage. The whole world is confused now, but it will pass. Don’t sweat it!
LIBRA (September 23 – October 21): Make a mad romantic/erotic escape. You need a very playful time-out to cool your jets and open your creative flow. The only limits are prophylactic. Take along whatever toys, ropes, or barnyard animals you need to indulge your wildest fantasies.
SCORPIO (October 23 – November 21): Your home is a great place for orgies or coven circles now. But light socializing is just not you, and your home especially is a place for profoundly challenging encounters. Choose your guests carefully!
SAGITTARIUS (November 22 – December 20): It’s a great time to get ahead if you can keep from tripping over your tongue. Writing poetry is a safe outlet, and you need an audience, but be careful where you read your work. It’s probably rather bad – if not outright wicked!
CAPRICORN (December 21 – January 19): You’re too tempted to argue, largely because you have doubts about long-standing principles. Just speak up carefully and with an open mind. Arguments can be good as long as you prize learning over winning.
AQUARIUS (January 20 – February 18): Is that hottie really leading you on or just trying to run away? Cool it, darling! You’re radiating trouble. Just make like Little Bo-peep and opportunity will wag its tail your way.
PISCES (February 19 – March 19): Relationship problems and your deep inner doubts feed into a vicious cycle. A sexy romantic getaway would help. At the very least, show this column to your darling to prove your horoscope says you “must” get a massage from the one you love!