Gov. Gretchen Whitmer addressed the State of Michigan after a plan to kidnap her and other Michigan government officials was thwarted by state and federal law enforcement agencies. She started by saying thank you to law enforcement and FBI agents who participated in stopping this [...]
By Jack Fertig
ARIES (March 20 – April 19): Your sexual skills and experiences (whether great or small) are getting talked about. If all that matters to you is that your name’s spelled right, this could be great advertising. If you’re the rare, shy Aries, just take it all with good humor.
TAURUS (April 20 – May 20): Usually you hate to debate, but now you’re just itching to argue. Conquering some new craft or artistic technique could be a better use of that energy. Take on a difficult challenge, or you’re sure to become one!
GEMINI (May 21 – June 20): Your erotic charm and enthusiasm could get you into a sexual situation that you may not feel ready for. Be honest about your desires and capacities, and careful about your company. With a little effort, you should be able to fulfill your wildest desires.
CANCER (June 21 – July 22): Sex is only one issue in your relationship due for a confrontation, and it could lead to a break-up or a breakthrough to deeper commitment. (If single, take a thorough inventory of your erotic and relational values.) Accept challenges with honesty and grace!
LEO (July 23 – August 22): When was your last visit to the doctor? No excuses – go! A more thorough check-up may be in order, but if you’ve done that in very recent months (and even if you haven’t), indulge and pamper your skin.
VIRGO (August 23 – September 22): Your creative juices are gushing deep, nasty, and chthonic. Some people will admire your primordial expositions. Offending others with profound truths isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but you need to think strategically before you do!
LIBRA (September 23 – October 22): Very rude secrets are likely to explode in your face. Past abuse? Community politics taking a dive into the sewer? For that matter, if you own your home, check the plumbing for potential trouble.
SCORPIO (October 23 – November 21): You’re famous for your ability to keep a secret, but something is going to slip out. Damage control could include whispering something incredibly naughty into the ear of someone with whom you really want to share the secret – and the naughtiness.
SAGITTARIUS (November 22 – December 20): Money issues are looming large for you over the coming years. Now you get a taste of how your priorities and values will transform. Consider the three things you love most, then decide which you would be willing to sacrifice.
CAPRICORN (December 21 – January 19): We’re in the midst of an era shift that will affect you more than most. Imagine a revolution. Which side will you take? What values will you stand for? Think now about what you have to offer, as it will soon become a lot more important!
AQUARIUS (January 20 – February 18): Read up on martyrs, perhaps Martin Luther King Jr. or Harvey Milk. Amelia Earhart also died in pursuit of a dream. What’s important enough to die for? Better yet, what’s the most important thing to live for?
PISCES (February 19 – March 19): Sexual tension between you and a good friend will explode, changing the friendship. Resolve to stay friends no matter what happens. Your wildest – and scariest? – erotic desires can come true, if you dare to let them.