Queer at midnight

By |2006-05-25T09:00:00-04:00May 25th, 2006|Entertainment|

ROYAL OAK – As if Royal Oak wasn’t gay enough, the Main Art Theatre milks the cities’ queerness, in a roundabout way, for the sake of its Midnight Movie Series. And, don’t get us wrong, we’re jumping up and down for joy in our Superman undies (OK, I should speak for myself) that films like “Pee-Wee’s Big Adventure” and “Moulin Rouge” are on the roster.

“Fight Club” (May 26)
If you don’t see the movie for its premise, there’s always the sex. According to www.screenit.com, a site that movies for their family-friendliness, “We see a brief still image of a penis as well as of a topless woman,” “…a man’s bare butt in a black and white advertisement (as well as another man in small and tight fitting underwear)” and “we hear loud and exaggerated sexual sounds coming from Tyler and Marla with her screaming, ‘Oh my God! Yes! Harder, harder!'” Seriously, there’s something for everyone.

“Mulholland Drive” (June 9)
This suspenseful murder mystery may be incomprehensible to the simple mind, but it’s a midnight showing anyhow. You and your friends will be so sloshed they won’t remember all the times you asked, “What just happened?” The film follows a bright-eyed young actress to Hollywood, where she’s ensnared in a dark conspiracy involving a woman who was nearly murdered. Now, although the woman survived a car crash, she suffers from amnesia. The women are eventually enticed into a psychotic illusion involving a dangerous blue box, a director named Adam Kesher and the mysterious nightclub Silencio. But you won’t remember anyhow.

“Moulin Rouge” (June 23)
You know it. You love it. You’ll see it again.

“The Shining” (June 30)
Redrum. Ah! Frankly the movie didn’t scare me as much as it did others. It’s a possibility that this is due to a romantic-comedy spoof I saw floating on the Internet that makes Jack Nicholson’s creepy character out to be a friendly family man. In the real “Shining,” based on Stephen King’s book, he slowly goes mad as evil spirits convince him to carve up his family with a fire axe. Perhaps that’s something that the run-of-the-mill romantic comedies could include: “I love you. I shouldn’t have left you. Now I’m gonna axe you.”

“Pee-Wee’s Big Adventure” (July 7)
That damn bike. It’s really the only thing I remember from Tim Burton’s 1985 film. I was almost three and Pee-Wee Herman would become the icing on the already gay childhood I had. Oh, Pee-Wee also had a super neat-o breakfast thingy that whipped up a gourmet meal, eggs and all. In the flick, Pee-Wee’s bike is stolen, so he sets out on a cross-country trek that leads him to the basement of the Alamo and the backlot at Warner Bros. Studios.

“The Muppet Movie” (July 14)
Jim Henson’s Muppets make their film debut, which chronicles their rise to fame. It begins with Kermit the Frog sitting in a swamp crooning and strumming a guitar. He realizes he can make people gay, er, happy and heads to Hollywood and meets the gang, including Miss Piggy, who becomes Kermit’s “Grace.”

“Back to the Future” (August 4)
I’ll never see Marty McFly (Michael J. Fox) and Doc Brown (Christopher Lloyd) the same. After viewing a spoof trailer on www.youtube.com that paired the two having an affair called “Brokeback to the Future,” the 1985 classic sci-fi film about time travel feels a wee bit gayer.

Also showing: “Napoleon Dynamite” (June 2), “Plan 9 From Outer Space” (July 28) and “Psycho” (August 18). For more information visit http://www.landmarktheatres.com or call 248-263-2111.

About the Author:

Chris Azzopardi
As editor of Q Syndicate, the international LGBTQ wire service, Chris Azzopardi has interviewed a multitude of superstars, including Cher, Meryl Streep, Mariah Carey and Beyoncé. His work has also appeared in The New York Times, GQ, Vanity Fair and Billboard. Reach him via Twitter @chrisazzopardi.