Remembering Jody Valley: The Pride Source Columnist Who Gave LGBTQ+ Readers a Lifeline
Before TikTok advice went viral, Valley was a lifeline for LGBTQ+ readers, offering wisdom, comfort and tough love — one letter at a time
Jody Amelia-Ann Valley, who passed away on Dec. 28, 2024, just shy of her 83rd birthday, left behind more than just an advice column — she created a lifeline for LGBTQ+ folks when they needed it most. Her "Dear Jody" column in Between The Lines and on PrideSource.com was a beacon of wisdom for the queer community throughout the late ’90s and early 2000s, long before the days of Instagram polls and Reddit advice threads.
When I joined Between The Lines in 2006, readers could still reach out to Valley the old-school way — through snail mail or her trusty Hotmail account. Her style was plain-spoken but always kind, offering the sort of genuine connection that feels rare in today's rapid-fire digital world.
From "Terrified of trucks" to "Addicted to bathhouses," Valley tackled it all. Her column became the heart of Pride Source, dishing out thoughtful advice on everything from relationship drama to the challenges of being LGBTQ+ in a sometimes hostile world. As a Native American woman, out lesbian and veteran social worker, she brought both professional expertise and personal understanding to her responses. She worked with the LGBTQ+ community both as a counselor and a workshop leader in the areas of coming out, self-esteem and relationship issues.
Valley's activism went way beyond the column. Since the ’60s, she'd been a staunch advocate for women's rights, reproductive freedom, LGBTQ+ rights and racial equality. She served as president of the Unitarian Universalist Congregation of Greater Lansing and wrote for the Lansing State Journal, always amplifying voices that needed to be heard.
"Porn is such a subjective thing. What's one person's porn is another person's art form," she once told a reader struggling with their boyfriend's habits. To someone facing financial disaster and heartbreak, she wrote: "You can't do anything about your past, but you can work towards a future."
When she wasn't writing, Jody was living life to the fullest — biking, hiking, kayaking and sledding well into her golden years. She was a diehard Michigan Wolverines and Detroit Lions fan, and created magical spaces for her grandkids, complete with fairy forests and secret clubhouses. Even in retirement, she kept creating, publishing three mystery novels with Bella Books and taking up wood carving. On March 22, 2014, she married her longtime partner Elaine Thomason. Together, they celebrated the Supreme Court decision to legalize same-sex marriage on June 26, 2015 at the Ingham County Courthouse in Mason.
Valley’s advice still feels relevant in today's turbulent times. Back in 2003, when a reader was overwhelmed by world events, she offered wisdom that still rings true: "You are keeping all the war/terrorist information right up there in front of your moment-to-moment daily life. No wonder you are anxious!" Her suggestion? Step back from the news cycle and focus on finding moments of joy instead.
One of her most powerful exchanges came in 2006, when she responded to a mother who had rejected her gay son, only to lose him to a drug overdose months later. The mother's letter was both confession and warning: "I know that I ruined his life...and mine as well. I rejected him. I wanted him to live a life that was my dream, not his." Valley's compassionate response feels particularly poignant today, as anti-LGBTQ+ rhetoric surges across the country. “I'm hoping that you can forgive yourself. I also hope that you continue to let others know what you have learned; your son would be proud of you for that,” she wrote.
Valley’s final bit of down-to-earth wisdom came through a Cookie Monster meme she shared on Facebook in 2024: "Today me will live in the moment unless it's unpleasant in which case me will eat a cookie." As we continue forward in a world that feels overwhelming at times, we could all do worse than take a page from Jody's playbook: in the midst of life's chaos, sometimes it’s just about finding that sliver of sweetness.
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