Samantha Irby Is ‘Dying’ (of Appreciation) About Being the Subject of Ann Arbor Library’s Big Gay Read
Bestselling author on feeling seen and what she thinks about the library’s Samantha Irby Experience
I’m somehow 30 minutes late calling Samantha Irby, despite all the careful planning and near-stalker behavior I engaged in to get her on my calendar. Months of planning right into the toilet all because I entered the end time into the start time slot on our Google Calendar invite.
I sheepishly send her a text, all apologies and with a pledge to open my calendar to any time she can manage, silently giving myself a stern lecture about attention to detail, when she replies. “OH SHIT LET’S TALK NOW” she writes, followed by, “i gotta find my phone omg” and “i knew i was fucking something up.” I knew we were soulmates the last time we talked, but this really seals it. I suddenly have new hope about how I’ll get by in this world, once I grow up, or maybe even if I never do. I’ve fallen for her all over again before we’re even on the phone, and it’s no surprise, really — Irby earns her living on this brand of inspiration born of relatability.
Because we’ve all been there, but admitting it, and wrapping it up in a charmingly crafted anecdote, is where Irby’s genius lies, whether she’s penning best-selling memoirs like “We Are Never Meeting in Real Life,” the inspiration for this year’s Big Gay Read, hosted by the Ann Arbor District Library, or contributing as a writer on shows like “And Just Like That…” and “Shrill.” Readers respond to true authenticity, and Irby is dripping with the stuff.
I spoke to Irby just ahead of her visit to the library as part of the Big Gay Read and a series of events titled collectively as the Samantha Irby Experience with a central, burning question I’d had since library staffers Rich Retyi and Jacob Gorski filled me in on what we could expect, including a craft event centered on cat butt coasters and a group Zumba session: Could she imagine anything more delightful and equally terrifying than an entire month focused on what it means to be Samantha Irby?
“I am dying,” she tells me. “After two days, they’re all gonna be, ‘OK enough of this.’”
Irby says she’s especially excited about the humorous irony of the book selection. “The beauty here, of talking about this book, is it’s like I am going to see people, but I said we’re never going to meet. But… here I am! Really, though, I’m excited. I feel good, and I love Ann Arbor.”
Irby says Ann Arbor reminds her of her hometown, Evanston, Illinois, just north of Chicago. “You get that hippie college, granola, progressive vibe, which makes me feel right at home,” she says. Irby has lived across the state in Kalamazoo for several years with her wife Kirsten Jennings and stepkids.
Irby wasn’t sure who might come to her talk on July 7, or how they’d react to her relentlessly authentic prose. “You never know who shows up to library events,” she muses. “What kind of people will be there? Will they be scandalized? I’m anxious to see how that plays out, though I’m already familiar with the archetypes of people who will be there, but if they have good energy, I’m sure they'll go along on the ride with me. However, I also have some friends coming, so just in case everyone hates me, my friends will laugh loudly.”
Due to “insane self-consciousness,” Irby hadn’t looked over the list of events for the Big Gay Read, and I was more than happy to get her real-time reaction to what the library has in store for participants. She was especially enthusiastic about the Cat Craft Symposium, where patrons can create their own cat butt coaster and cat toys (set for July 18). “Oh my god, can they send me one?” she asks.
As I read through the event descriptions for events like the Zumba class (July 11) and the Bad Date Cabaret (July 23), clearly dreamt up by sincere and well-versed fans, Irby roared with laughter and appreciation. “My god,” she said. “I’m about to burst into tears. This is an incredible dream. This is all incredible. It’s like someone dipped into my subconscious and made my dream list of activities. Hat’s off to whoever came up with these activities and events.”
“This is an incredible honor. Just having the library pick my book was beyond anything I could imagine, but then a month of stuff that I would like doing… wow. I’m thrilled and humbled that anyone would even consider coming to hear me being big and gay.”
Borrow your copy of “We Are Never Meeting in Real Life” at Ann Arbor District Library and learn more about the Big Gay Read at aadl.org/thebiggayread.
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