By Tom Fleischmann
GRAND RAPIDS – After seeing all of the increased news coverage about gay and lesbian relationships in the past few years, Jim Lucas became frustrated by the lack of support offered to LGBT couples.
"Not only is there no legal way for gay and lesbian couples to marry in Michigan," he pointed out, "but straight couples also have additional avenues for support like family, church, and counseling that might not always be available to gay and lesbian couples."
This in mind, he and his West Michigan organization Gays In Faith Together put together a speaker series focused on Nurturing Gay and Lesbian Relationships.
The series includes five speakers addressing different aspects of healthy relationships with an LGBT perspective. The first night, Oct. 18, brought in a therapist who addressed how earlier relationships might affect what people look for in future partners. Last week's speaker switched the focus to abandoning gender stereotypes in order to form more healthy, honest relationships.
The change in focus from week-to-week is intentional, Lucas said. "Some of our speakers address differences between straight couples and gay and lesbian couples, but others highlight what's universal," he said.
The final three speakers particularly speak to the range of topics GIFT included. On Nov. 3, three speakers will share their research on what makes any healthy relationship (gay or straight) work, condensing the lesson into "the six things you want to do and the seven you don't." The fourth week, Nov. 8, brings in Lorrie Shier, a private counselor from Grand Rapids, to share her experience as a lesbian mother and some ideas on how to re-define family. Finally, week five, Nov. 16, will feature a panel addressing ways in which faith can strengthen rather than hurt gay and lesbian relationships.
Lucas was pleased with the turnout for the first two evenings, both of which drew around thirty-five people. "It's our first time doing anything like this so I didn't know what to expect, but it shows that there is some interest," he said.
The crowds have been very diverse for the first two events. Along with an even mix of men and women, there has also been a combination of single persons and couples and a broad range of ages.
With so many pressures against love, the speakers are meant to be useful to people at every stage of their life and relationship. As Lucas says, "I don't know of anyone who wouldn't like to fall in love someday."
