This is what several of us solemnly repeated, while solidarity clad in all black to symbolize the occasion, as we silently protested on what will now be the inaugural protest against what almost all who are above the age of 15 here in the SGL/LGBT community know to be a pattern of systemic racial practices at Affirmations Lesbian and Gay Community Center.
Until now, I had vowed to temporarily remain silent and absent from what I suspect will be several weeks of writings about these practices and my being fired from this organization on Monday, Oct. 2, 2006, but thanks to several events on this evening, I am no more.
It began with the arrival of several of my former co-workers to the evening's event. They saw me. I saw them. Neither spoke to the other. Several even, intentionally, at least that is the way it appeared, turned their heads to avoid looking at us as they briskly walked to the entrance of the comedy club. Others chose to stay inside, warm and dry, presumed cocktails in hand, while peering through the glass window that allowed them to "safely" see me and the other protesters. It is my understanding that they had a mini-training on how to deal with "angry protesters" and were told that if any of them approached or spoke to me, they would be immediately terminated. I forgive them for not acknowledging me. I suppose we all think we need our jobs. I know that is what I thought. I hope they also forgive me for not speaking to them.
The second incident involved the arrival of Karen Williams, who was the performer for that evening's fundraising event. Unfortunately, Ms. Williams chose to believe this same about "angry protesters" and as she approached us, appeared surprised to see that while we were/are indeed quite angry, we were/are "civilized" with it. Ironically enough, I believe that Ms. Williams, as the only self-proclaimed "out" African American Lesbian comic in the United States, further chose to let what felt and looked like an overwhelming sense of self importance (ego), drive her to passionately lecture us that evening on how she, too, empathizes with what I went/still am going through, but then question why we chose to protest on the evening that she was performing and then even further state that she wishes that we had protested when Kate Clinton was performing, instead of her. She ended by saying that though she had to keep her contract agreement with Affirmations, she stood in solidarity with us and had every intention of addressing the issues during that evening's performance. I wonder if she did. I was not inside. This was followed by a long conversation with Mr. Ellis Sutton, who identified himself as Ms. Williams' publicist. He informed us of having mediated a "fact finding meeting" that Ms. Williams requested of Affirmations, at which I was not in attendance.
Meeting these two individuals has thoroughly convinced me that many people in this world are lost and completely unaware of the importance of getting one's spirit and soul in order…with one's eyes and ears wide open.
The third incident involved the arrival of the three white women whom I had the wonderful opportunity to learn from and educate during our time together with an, unfortunately, now defunct group called Race Matters. With genuine tear stained faces, they asked me what happened. They listened. They held me as I wailed. They rubbed my back. They kissed me. They spoke of just how very sorry they are for what I had to endure. They know who they are and I am eternally grateful to them for what I consider to be a truly courageous act because after speaking to me, they chose to go back inside the comedy club with a vow to do something. I hope they did/do and I love them for that. I also love all of the folks whom I don't know who blew their horns in support; to those who walked by and gave me a "high five" or said "Oh my goodness, I'm so sorry, but hang in there"; for those who slowed down and stopped traffic to read our signs and then gave us a "thumbs up"; to the man who gave us free music CD's; to the two women who own the yoga studio that we were standing next to, and who also came out to see what was going on, listened and then offered their words of encouragement and hugs of support; to my former co-worker who reminded me and told others who cared to listen what a good person, and what a good social worker, she knows me to be and lastly, to all of us who stood out there, wet and cold, including Claude Houseworth and Curtis Lipscomb. So as not to make this an "angry black lesbian issue," thanks to Melanie Morrison and April Allison, two white women whom I love appreciate and respect dearly, and so as not to make this an "angry black issue," Vanessa, for your assistance and supportive spirit, and the representative from the Lawyer's Guild.
The fourth and final incident involved my reading of the article in Between The Lines newspaper. Social work was my major in college, not journalism, so I think I was expecting something completely different than what I read. I was quite disappointed. Nevertheless, the following corrections are necessary:
1.I was not employed at Affirmations for two years; I was employed at Affirmations for 1 year and 9 months; it would have been two years on December 4.
2.Leslie Thompson's quote about Affirmations being actively engaged in cultural competency and diversity trainings at the board and staff levels speaks primarily to the trainings that I did and organized, and perhaps the one that she organized for the board and staff to do together last year. However, after doing them for one year, I was told by Leslie that this would no longer be my responsibility due to my making her and other un-named co-workers uncomfortable. We had no other trainings on these issues following her informing me of this position responsibility change. Those of us who do this type of work know that the process is an uncomfortable one. I did not believe that Leslie was willing, or able, to experience that, yet.
3.Affirmations does not currently employ two employees of African descent, they employee only one. They do, however, employ an employee who is of Arab descent. Perhaps this is the other person to which this reference is made, but I know with certainty that this individual identifies as Arab-American. But then, I have been gone since Oct. 2 and there could have been an additional hiring since then. However, the fact that this was stated as possible proof of inclusion is sad, especially since there are nearly 20 full-time and part-time staff employed there.
4.Affirmations' board having 25 percent being people of color is misleading to those who might not know that the board is comprised of nearly 20 individuals and the four people of color might, and I say might, because I am not certain if they self-identify as people of color, or not, include two women of African descent, one woman who informed me she has roots in Lebanon, one woman whom I believe has roots in a Spanish speaking country, and one man whom, if I remember correctly, has roots in the Philippines. Again, the fact that this is a percentage that was stated as if it were a positive thing and as evidence of diversity is disturbing to me.
Lastly, this is not an us vs. them situation; a black vs. white issue; this is not a woman's issue; this is not even a "gay" issue; this is not an issue about Leslie's management style; nor is there a winner and a loser. This is a human issue … a rather sad human issue.
What a way to spend National Coming Out Day, indeed…
Kimya Afi Ayodele
