by Jessica Carreras
Sitting and watching a documentary on eating disorders, Robert Hunter casually munches on a salad, looking unconcerned about what he's consuming. One would never guess that the willowy, middle-aged Hamtramck man has thought about his appearance many a time, and has always feared becoming fat.
"Body image is something that's been with me for a long time," he admits.
Last Thursday at the Affirmations Gay and Lesbian Community Center in Ferndale, Hunter came to watch "Do I Look Fat?" a movie about gay men with body image issues and eating disorders, hoping to learn more about the issues he has struggled with for so long. What he saw were men with problems, questions and issues quite similar to his.
The film, created by San Francisco filmmaker Travis Mathews, relays the stories of eight men, all of whom have suffered from eating disorders and body issues. They talk about their adolescence, contributing factors to their problems like bullying, coming out, trauma and social pressures, the road to recovery and what it's like to be a man with a problem supposedly reserved for women.
But the issue of eating disorders among men is one that has gained widespread notice in the past 10 years, both in mainstream media and in clinical studies. Men account for 25 percent of adults with anorexia or bulimia and 40 percent of binge eaters, according to a 2007 Harvard University study.
"We used to associate eating disorders and body issues with young girls," Gender Public Advocacy Coalition executive director Riki Wilchins said in a press release. "But now, boys are getting similar messages that you have to be perfect – buff, sculpted and muscular – to be attractive. And the result is boys are dieting, purging and becoming depressed about their bodies."
Of the men who have eating disorders, a substantial number identify themselves as gay or bisexual. It has been estimated that around 5 percent of the male population considers themselves to be homosexual, and yet some estimates say that up to 15 percent of these males have suffered from an eating disorder or symptoms of it at some time in their life, according to the International Journal of Eating Disorders.
With females, however, studies have shown little difference in instances of eating disorders between straight women and lesbian or bisexual women.
It is also assumed by many health professionals that men are less likely to reveal their eating disorders, or to consider them as such and seek treatment. Many gay men, such as those in the "Do I Look Fat?" documentary, see body issues and eating disorders as the norm. "There's more of an emphasis in the gay community on body image," explains Howard, 48, who was featured in the movie. "I think it continues to be more in the forefront of my mind being a single, gay man."
Several men even linked the beginning of their eating problems to their coming out or first exploration of their sexuality. Howard, who lives in San Francisco, says that it was only by attending Overeaters Anonymous meetings that he came to terms with his sexuality. "One of the things I learned there (at OA) was honesty," he says. "It helped me want to answer some questions I always had about sexuality."
"If I hadn't begun to deal with my food issues," he continues, "I don't know how or when I would have dealt with my other life issues."
Luckily for Howard, he was able to start sorting out both his body and sexuality issues as a result of attending OA. Now, he just hopes that telling his story will help other men – gay and straight – to come to terms with their own food and body problems. It's a hope shared by the filmmaker, Mathews, and reiterated by the other men in the film.
The first step, says Howard, is letting these men know that they're not alone and that there is hope for overcoming their issues – something he learned in OA. "Gay men need to go through a lot more hardship in terms of the process of coming out," he says. "Knowing that there's someone else like you out there is a big help."
The second part, he believes, is helping them to understand that it's nothing to be ashamed of, or to hate yourself over. "It's not this horrible, demonic thing," he says, adding that it can be emasculating for men to have a problem their doctors and society tells them is reserved for women. And for gay men, who already deal with the stigma of being seen as less masculine for their sexuality, it can be a debilitating blow. To Howard and other men in the documentary, it was something they struggled with hand-in-hand with their eating disorders: The feeling that they weren't really men.
But Howard has high hopes that admitting his own eating problems and sharing his story will be enough to help someone who sees it decide to seek help and get better. "I've always been open with my eating issues," he explains. "If my story can help one person, it's worth it."
