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The 'Mo Mission

By Thomas Matich

If I were to open a gay bar, it would be the Stonewall Experience at Universal Studios: a drunken rollercoaster ride where cops pop out and you bash them with Judy Garland's body parts. Until that happens, there's the adventure of Detroit Guerilla Queer Bar, where gays have been hijacking straight bars for five years.
"I think it's a pretty positive thing that we're doing," says 27-year-old Detroit Guerilla founder Matthew Stanton. "When I first started this, I think my goal was to try to get people away from the whole gay bar scene where it's very dark and seedy and music-thumping; where it really wasn't conducive to hold conversation.
"As the whole Guerilla Bar has evolved, it has changed to a pro-Detroit thing, trying to change people's perception of the city to where it's not a place you have to fear; there are so many great places you can go to that you might not have heard of before."
I strolled into Loco Bar, nestled on the corner of Lafayette Boulevard in downtown Detroit, around 10 p.m. on a recent Friday night. Stanton was wearing a sombrero and it was a fiesta of gay men under the brightest light I've yet to see (you know at gay bars, it's usually dark and foggy and, sometimes, there's neon).Everyone was smiling, laughing, downing booze – and bar-goer Monty told me about how Guerilla Bar gives you a chance to practice your gay-dar because of the straight environment.
But it's not just about honing your homo skills. Picking a venue like Slows Bar BQ in Detroit offers the opportunity to eat some choice cuisine that most gay bars don't offer. Recent events have taken place at The Emory in Ferndale, Hard Rock Cafe and Carl's Chop House in Detroit; all venues equally random and yummy, forging an off-the-beaten path for those seeking more than the next trick.
"I like the anticipation: They send out a letter, but they don't tell you where it is (until closer to the event)," Monty says. "Some people from Guerilla Bar, I don't see anywhere else."
Unpredictability is part of the appeal. Some Guerilla events have been more successful than others (crowds can range from 20 to 100). Some have driven the straights away. Aside from the Guerillas, Loco was close to empty when I arrived. I spotted two seemingly heterosexual burly black men scarfing down a late dinner and watching a basketball game. They appeared oblivious to the crowd of gay men standing beside them. When I introduced myself and explained what was going on, they laughed and said they were "sorta speculating." I had noticed that they were they only black guys in the bar and asked them about their views on homosexuality, seeing as it can be quite the taboo in their culture.
"When I was younger, I might've had a problem with it," Brandon said. "But it's just about relationships, whether you're gay or straight. Looking at their camaraderie, it's fine by me. We all have the same issues: life, death, relationships, finances."
Brandon summed things up pretty well: That when you get past our dick size, hair style, fashion sense and muscle tone, we're all just a bunch of men. As I ordered another bottle of Pacifico and sat down to chat with John, Jordan and a bunch of other warm and friendly gays, the sentiment rang even more true. Who needs a gay bar?
"I don't – because I think I'm old," Jordan, who had just came from the opera, joked. "I like interesting bars; all the same people are in the gay ones. Pronto (in Royal Oak) is very cliquey and everyone gives you the up-and-down when you walk in – and then looks past you for the next guy. This is more relaxed, there's more camaraderie because we're all in the same gang."
And, really, Detroiters are all in the same gang, too. Despite corrupt city officials shining a negative national spotlight, a miserable economy, and slaps in the face to kids who've stuck around and are excited about rejuvenating the city, one has the feeling that the 313 is on the brink of something special. "It's the outside-of-the-box thinking that makes Detroit cool," John Corvino said at Loco. It's true. So what if it takes Guerilla tactics to take our city back? Everyone should feel welcome wherever they go.
"A friend of mine mentioned that a lot of the bars in the city and the suburbs are very segregated in the types of clientele they cater to," Stanton said. "So I try to show these bars that there are all sorts of different clientele that they can cater to.
"And they might not want to cater to the gay population, but it's showing them that the gays are out there and they have money and want to spend it in their venues. So maybe it's kinda a wakeup call to them."

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