Parting Glances
Oscar Wilde's full name is Oscar Fingal O'Flahertie Wills Wilde: a bit grand for an Irish wit, playwright. And, gay man! But it does have a nice ring of blarney to it.
Wilde loved decorative names. (His mother, an Irish folklorist and poet, went by the pen name of Speranza.) Wilde named his sons Vyvyan and Cyril. His grandson is named Merlin, after the magician of King Arthur's court.
Vyvyan, who died in 1967, age 80, wrote in his memoirs that his famous father was exceptionally kind. He got down on all fours in the nursery to play games with his boys, and he read aloud to them fairy tales he had written for their amusement. ("The Selfish Giant" was his favorite, the telling of which often moved Wilde, something of an awkward giant himself, to tears.)
Wilde took Vyvyan and Cyril fishing and to the seaside, where he built sand castles for their lead soldiers. (Lord Alfred "Bosie" Douglas, Wilde's lover and nemesis, was a frequent visitor to the Wilde home, as was Robert Ross, son of a Canadian politician, who brought Wilde out. Wilde's wife, Constance, was unaware of his secret life.)
A favorite remembrance of Vyvyan concerns the time the brothers were dressed in fancy collars, cuffs, knee britches to meet guests. They took these 'sissified' clothes off on the staircase landing, stepping innocently buff into the family drawing room. The stuffy guests were — to quote dowdy Queen Victorian — "not amused". But Wilde, actually quite amused, gave in. The boys were soon dressed in white sailor suits he had promised them.
In 1895 for homosexual acts — most with hustlers, clerks, waiters, low lifes — Wilde was sentenced to two years of prison hard labor. His valuable books, autographed first editions, letters, and art objects were sold cheaply at auction to pay creditors. The boys' games and toys (Lot #237) sold for 30 shillings.
Vyvyan and Cyril never saw their beloved "papa" again. Constance changed their name to her maiden name Holland. Vyvyan, who was nine at the time, never learned why. Cyril, ten, found out the sordid details from a newspaper clipping. His father's "crime" troubled Cyril throughout his short life. He died at the hand of a German sniper during World War I.
Constance, who granted Wilde a small monthly allowance on the condition that he avoid all contact with the notorious Bosie, died in Genoa at age 40, the result of a bungled spinal operation. Had Wilde "changed his ways," she would no doubt have taken him back. He couldn't.
2000 was the centenary of Oscar's death. He's buried in Pere Lachaise Cemetery, outside of Paris. (Mime Marcel Marceau was buried there recently. Notables include Edith Piaf, Kurt Colbain, gay composer Camille Saint-Saens.) Wilde's grave is marked by an imposing Jacob Epstein sculpture. A winged figure in deep mourning; its tiny stylized penis, twice hacked off.
The ashes of Ross, Wilde's estate executor — and responsible for seeing Wilde's debts were finally paid off — are buried with Wilde. Lord Douglas, a nasty, petulant, bitchy queen, who somehow wrote exquisite sonnets, died in 1947. He spent much of his long life suing people. A niece, Dolly Wilde, was a lesbian, lover of notorious Natalie Clifford Barney.
During the centennial year of Wilde's death Vyvyan's son Merlin Holland, promised to change his name back to Wilde. A promise unaccountably reneged upon. What's in a name, anyway?
Gayness. Grandeur. A touch of the Irish blarney. The Importance of Being Earnest. And honest.
