By Imani Williams
I admit I can sometimes use an extra dose of etiquette syrup. But I didn't think I did anything to deserve being rudely hung up on, on-air, by a local radio talk show host last week.
I tuned into the Mildred Gaddis' 'Inside Detroit' radio program after receiving a call from a sistah activist friend. As I located AM 1200 WCHB, I tuned in to hear a young high school student being berated with questions regarding whether or not he felt that his homosexuality was a phase. This 16 year-old had called in to comment on his involvement with a young man. His mother was having difficulty accepting his same-gender attraction. By the time Gaddis and her co-host, Greg, finished picking this young man apart I was livid.
They asked him if he and his friend were having sex and ended by telling him that they hoped his involvement was just a phase and that it wasn't too late to change. When he shared that some kids at his school are dressing 'as girls' and sometimes wear high heeled boots, Gaddis actually gave a hearty laugh.
The more I listened the more determined I became to get through to give this young man some hope. I don't make it a habit of listening to this station because I am well aware of the homophobic attitude and viewpoint of the host. I felt compelled to call this day because the conversation was involving lgbt youth. Another reason I was punching those digits was the fact that Mildred Gaddis was a guest speaker at an early Detroit Black Gay Pride (DBG) celebration in 1998. As a member of the lgbt community, I believe in holding people to task if they say they are for and represent me and who I am.
Mildred continued to take calls from callers who were very opinionated in their viewpoints. What made their remarks hard to swallow was the high level of ignorance in their statements about same-gender attracted people. Just when I thought I could take no more, a young 30-something male called in. He didn't want to give his real name. He was in a lot of pain when he called and by the sound of his voice the pain had deepened by the time he hung up. The brother was crying and you could literally feel his hurt over the radio.
When it was my turn to speak I addressed the two young men in my comments letting them know that the Ruth Ellis Center is available for assistance and referrals. I then shared with the host that I am a parent and a proud, out African-American lesbian, and Christian. I don't know which of my descriptors disturbed Gaddis and her co-host the most. They pounced on me and told me that there was no way I could be lesbian if I had born children. Ain't that nothing! I calmly pointed out that they could not define who I am. I explained the reason I married and had children in a straight relationship. They could not grasp the fact that because we live in a society that shuns same sex attraction, you risk losing it all if you go against the grain, and that while I married I knew I was a lesbian, albeit a closeted lesbian but a lesbian nonetheless.
The conversation got uglier when my Christianity was brought into question. They were not ready for me or my answers. It seems if you call in to the show and are still in a confused state of mind or seeking their affirmation they will rip you apart. Because I answered strongly and with assurance I was hung up on. I looked at my phone and then to the heavens seeking answers as to how so many insane people are passing on a regular basis.
To the brothers that called in before me let me give you some resource information you may find helpful. Ruth Ellis Center 313-867-6936, Affirmations 1-800-398-GAYS, Men of Color 313-543-7000, PFLAG 'Family Reunion' 313-527-7955, Full Truth Fellowship of Christ Church 313-869-0233, New Covenant Community Ministries 248-541-4551, Unity Fellowship Church Detroit 248-542-2301.
Finally to Ms. Gaddis, my advice to you is if you are interested in using your program as an empowerment tool for people, then please contact me so I or someone else from my beloved community can be a guest on your show and provide accurate information that just may save the life of someone you or I love. Peace, Love, and Light, Imani
