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Watch Me! Or Not!

Chris Azzopardi

Rick & Steve: The Happiest Gay Couple In All The World (Paramount Home Video)
Sure, this Logo-produced TV show will hit DVD (on Aug. 28) faster than "Glitter," but don't let that — especially with the vocal talents of Margaret Cho and Alan Cumming — deter you from this cleverly Lego-looking animated show. The rad six-episode series tells the tale of the gayest, er happiest, couple in the whole frickin' wide world. Seriously, even those queers on Mars will be jealous of their happy-go-lucky love.

Desert Hearts (Wolfe Video)
Relive it. The lesbo love. The steamy weather. The sultry sex scene. The corny lines (ÒShe just reached in and put a string of lights around my heartÓ). ItÕs all here on the low-budget token filmÕs two-disc DVD. What you wonÕt find? An extended version of the scorching woman-on-woman sex scene. Boo-hoo!

Number 23 (New Line Home Video)
WhatÕs so special about those digits? A losing Lotto number? The amount of seconds youÕll watch the flick before hitting Òstop?Ó Most critics would just tell you that this Jim Carrey flick just doesnÕt add up. And neither did its box-office bucks.

Factory Girl (The Weinstein Company)
ItÕs uncut. The DVD, that is. A wannabe starlet, Holly Golightly, drops out of school, heads to New York and meets Andy Warhol, who promises to sprinkle his celeb magic all over her. Well, his magic dust isnÕt as useful as Tinker BellÕs. Sure, Holly explodes, but her starÕs a falling one.

Wild Tigers I Have Known (Wellspring Media)
A poignantly-poetic Gus Van Sant film, directed by 24-year-old newcomer Cam Archer, lurks in dreamy backdrops, and as its story about a teenÕs struggle with identity, alienation, loneliness and sexual fantasies surfaces, so does an impossible crush.

Premonition (Sony Pictures)
What a shame that Sandra BullockÕs Miss Cleo-like character in this so-called thriller didnÕt rub off on me before I spilled 7 bucks on it. Now itÕs on DVD and screw premonitions, Õcause IÕm telling you: This time-traveling, preachy, is-he-dead-or-isnÕt-he flick with spooky clichŽs (the ubiquitous dead crow!) belongs in the past no matter how much you adore Miss Congeniality.

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