Catching Up with Carole Hoke, a Detroit Activist and Illinois Clergy Who Has Devoted a Lifetime to LGBTQ+ Advocacy
Every person's journey is different, and this is especially true for queer people. But there might be a happy Hollywood ending for the LGBTQ+ activist: to come out, become comfortable in your own skin, get involved in social justice organizing, become a leader, accomplish something good and lasting for the community, get married at some point and then retire happily.
Carole Hoke is living a version of that life. A lesbian who started out with a column advocating for LGBTQ+ causes in the 1980s, Hoke has traveled the path from Michigan activist to retired United Church of Christ clergy in Peoria, Illinois. Now approaching their 80th birthday and celebrating 27 years with their spouse Lauren, Hoke continues to advocate for equality and justice through their words, beliefs and actions.
Pride Source caught up with Hoke to discuss their Michigan roots, their continuing passion for advocacy and the wisdom they've gained along the way.
What was your experience like working with the Detroit Area Gay and Lesbian Council in the early '80s?
Charles Alexander was my introduction to the Detroit Area Gay/Lesbian Council. I owe much to Charles' mentorship and guidance throughout the years. The column I wrote, "Over and Out," was Charles' inspiration. It was truly the greatest networking experience of my life — even to this day.
DAG/LC, being an organization of organizations, was new to me, but served the community by coordinating event calendars so people and groups wouldn't schedule conflicting events. This created opportunities for everyone to participate fully in LGBTQ+ events and opened doors for me, putting me in the right place at the right time for many important moments.
I was able to participate in a "hot topics" class at Macomb Community College led by a rabbi, where we discussed homosexuality alongside other controversial subjects. I was part of the media response team during the first hate crimes legislation discussions, where I faced challenging questions from reporters attempting to throw off our panel, which included Jeff Montgomery, Charles and myself.
Meanwhile, the HIV/AIDS crisis was intensifying. We were losing community members at an accelerating rate, and there were so many questions about treatments, disease progression and life expectancy. The community came together to honor each life lost while also supporting events like PrideFest through DAG/LC's coordinated efforts, with everyone working together to create successful annual events.
What are some of your favorite memories from your time as an advocate in Michigan?
One of my greatest memories was a fundraiser for Michigan Organization for Human Rights with two concerts, one in East Lansing and one in the Detroit with musicians Cris Williamson, Holly Near and Tret Fure. Another highlight was meeting with U.S. Senator Carl Levin on a couple of different occasions to lobby for laws that would protect LGBTQ+ people. The meeting went well, and we definitely got our points across and left the senator with a lot to think about, not that it would come to fruition. Still, any time we can plant a seed, we have laid the groundwork for plans to bloom.
How would you compare today's LGBTQ+ advocacy challenges with those you faced decades ago?
The urgency of need.
I had an "ally" parishioner once ask me, "Why do people [LGBTQ+] want everything right now?" I tried my best to help her understand that what feels like "right now" to her, may be a lifetime or more for a person like me. People for the most part, as allies, today, are more engaged and tend to be better informed than they were in the early years. There is still more to do. Our transgender friends still are horribly misunderstood, as are many bisexual folks.
Allies still tend to "group" our community into the "gay" community, as if we were all on the same page. Many still think it is enough to be nice and tolerant of all members of the community. But there is a huge difference in tolerating and being fully accepting. Our transgender members are still often not fully included, bisexuality is not necessarily accepted and the growing "alphabet" of gender identity, gender expression and sexuality is in need of further inclusion.
Unless and until allies fully understand what our terms mean and what our differences are, there will always be a rift.
What lessons have unsuccessful advocacy attempts taught you about perseverance?
You are always planting seeds. Just because you think you have not had an influence on someone or a group, you may have impacted them more than you realize. It is important to know that not everyone will be receptive and that is OK. Tell your story, let your story stand and maybe, just maybe, someone hearing your words will then share your story with others. Ultimately, change will come.
When working on a city ordinance in Peoria, Illinois, to include LGBTQ+ for fair employment and housing, gaining support from the council members was difficult. After a City Council meeting where several of us spoke openly and honestly, the ordinance passed. What I learned from that is that one should never, ever give up. One must keep on going. One must keep pressing on for hope, justice and equality.
What common mistakes should advocates avoid when engaging with people who hold anti-LGBTQ+ views?
The first mistake is to assume you know their story; that you know what they expect to hear. You may have a completely canned response to the homophobic or transphobic lies, but each person is different. You don't have all the answers.
If their arguments are scripture, never agree to discuss scripture — it is personal and every person has their own perspective. It only gets ugly and won't lead anywhere.
What are you doing now and how has your advocacy evolved?
My spouse and I currently live in Peoria, Illinois. Lauren and I have been together for 27 years and legally married for 14 years. I am a retired United Church of Christ clergy person. I continue to be active in ministry and advocacy.
As I approach my 80th birthday, I still march for equality and justice. Even though my last physical march may have been the March on Washington in 2017, I still march with my words, beliefs and actions. Frequently, I am invited to speak at public events for peace and justice. The most recent event was the Peoria County Bar Association's Lincoln Memorial Banquet.
I believe passionately that the most important aspect of any successful life of advocacy is relationship-building, listening and authenticity.
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