By Cornelius A. Fortune
As a breast cancer survivor, Fela Belinda Smith, has seen the highest and lowest points of her life converge and coalesce: from motherhood, to her own discovery of being "a new lesbian."
This journey has taken her through 30 years of exploration.
A long-time activist and co-founder of the James Baldwin Pat Parker Society and the Lesbians of Color, Smith has done a lot for her community, standing front and center on some of the most important issues the community has faced.
Her involvement in activism began as early as 10-years-old, when she volunteered during the great worker's strike involving Caesar Chavez in Southwest Detroit (She stuffed envelopes). At Rosary High School (now WCCCD-West Side Extension), Smith started an ABS (Association of Black students), despite there only being 12 African-Americans at her school.
Later at Wayne State University, she helped to start another organization – the James Baldwin Pat Parker Society.
"The whole purpose of it was to be a cultural and political arm of the gay and lesbian community," she said. "At that time, we weren't talking about bi and transgendered, it was just the gay and lesbian community."
James Baldwin was an elegant and eclectic example of someone who spoke fluently about his life, as was author Pat Parker. The two, in Smith's opinion, were the epitome of what a black gay or lesbian could be.
"We wanted to bring some culture into the community. We felt that there was nothing for us – there were all kinds of 'black things' going on, but nothing that spoke to the gays and lesbians in the city of Detroit, and unfortunately even today, there's very little."
From poetry readings, to plays and rap sessions, The James Baldwin Pat Parker Society was all about culture and merging cultural diversity into the LGBT community.
During her time as a student at WSU, Smith discovered a very important book: "The New Woman." Consisting of profiles on influential women, it ended with a questionnaire that said: "If you fall into any of these categories, you're one of the New Lesbians."
"At that point, it dawned on me that all my friends were women; that I got all of my support from other women; all of the really important people in my life were women. The only thing that was missing from life was intimacy with a woman," she said.
It was a revelation to say the least. "When I came out, I came out to everybody. I told everybody because I thought everybody would be so happy for me; because I was so happy."
Once her mother realized that her daughter wasn't just going through a phase, they had a short falling out, much of it had to do with Smith's son, who was very young at the time.
"(My mother) grew to be OK with it," she said, "and when she passed – by that time I had been out about 20 years – we laughed and joked (about it) and she always wanted to know who I was with."
In 1995 Smith was diagnosed with breast cancer. This startling discovery changed everything. The cancer, she was told, was at Stage 4, the last stage – they had given her six months to live, but a new procedure gave her hope.
"I had chemotherapy 24 hours a day. I had a tube plugged into my veins, and I carried a chemo bag 24 hours a day, seven days a week, and every week they would refill the chemo bag, and then I would have one week off."
Her voice diminished slightly, pausing from the memory.
"Three months of that … then I had the mastectomy … and more radiation, where I had lost all of my skin on my side where they had done the mastectomy. And then after that healed, I had more chemo."
The procedure was a success. As a result she's been cancer free since 1996.
Seven years ago she started the Lesbians of Color, an organization for black lesbians over 40.
"It is a support group rather than a rap group," Smith said. "We try and offer support to women who are in the community who are dealing with issues; who are just coming out, or who are over 40 and are dealing with the age thing – they are at varying stages of coming out."
The retired social worker is the mother of a 26-year-old son studying for his PhD in psychics at Wayne State University. She has tried to instill life lessons in him that go beyond sexual orientation.
"(I tell him) people are going to like you or dislike you," she said. "Maybe it's because you're too dark, or too light, or they might not like you because your mom likes other women, it really doesn't matter."
Her best advice to other lesbians struggling with life issues is to live each day like it is your very last, because it may just be.
"The most important thing is to be who you are in spite of what anyone else might say or do – be who you are, and be proud of who you are. That's always been one of my passions."
