Dear Jody: On the online dud

Q: Jody, I've been looking for women to date online because I'm not good at the bar scene. I'm also not a joiner of organizations, so I feel pretty isolated looking for lesbians. The online thing seemed like the best solution for me. The problem is that I don't know how to write the snappy little introductions and profiles, or answer with witty replies. I guess that's why I don't get many responses and the few I do get are so not in the ballpark.
Believe me, I'm not a bad looker (my picture is posted); I'm educated; and I like to do things – movies, restaurants, hiking, etc. I do have things to offer. I have a friend in another state who has been successful with this online stuff, but for me it's just not working. Do you think my inability to write the snappy intro and replies are keeping me from finding that special person?
Online Dud

A: Perhaps you should have your friend – whom it is working for — check your online profile. Because we often have difficulty talking about ourselves in a positive kind of way, your profile might not do you justice. As far as snappy little replies, honesty and sincerity will go a long way. Good Luck!

Q: Three months ago, I joined an online dating service. I've been getting a great response — too great. I'm getting mixed up about who is who, what I have said to whom, and who it is calling me on the phone. I'm not kidding. It's not that I'm stuck on myself or bragging, it's just that it's getting complicated! Do you have any ideas how I can handle this?
So Much, So Fast

A: If I were you, I'd start keeping notes in a notebook – either in a regular notebook or a computer notebook — for each person with whom you are having a conversation or have seen. Other than a personal aide, that's all I can come up with. What a nice problem you have.

Q: I'm doing this online dating thing. I've met two guys who are not what they have presented themselves as … like, one guy said he was an electrical engineer but was really a handyman and the other guy said that he was a nurse and he was really a nurse's aide. Another guy said that he was 5-feet 10-inches — if he was 5-feet 4-inches I'll eat my hat. It's not that I'm a snob, but I'm really upset when someone says he is something, then I find out that he is something else. So, my trust factor is on "0." I don't know if I want to go on with this if this is the rule and not the exception. What do you think? I want to find my life mate, but maybe this is not the way.

Fool Me Once …

A: You don't say how long you have been doing this online dating thing, but maybe you should give others a chance. If you were in a bar, you'd get the same thing, but maybe not the chance to figure it out in the light of day. Don't be too quick at dumping this way of finding the right guy.

Q: I'm an 80-year-old woman who lost her lover after 55 years. (I can't believe that we now have a column for us to ask about our problems. How life has changed!) Anyway, I lost my "Louise" last September. I'm feeling very lonely. At first, I thought that I would never find another woman and that my life was pretty much over. Then, a young lesbian said to me that I should go online and look for someone. I don't do the computer but my young friend said that she would help me with that. I'm not at the time in life where I will be doing a big dating thing, but I would now like to meet someone that I could share my life with, but would an 80-year-old woman — or a 70-plus woman think of doing such a thing? (My young woman is doing this for me.)
Too Old for Online?

A: Well, you are thinking about going online, so maybe others in your age range will also think that – maybe also with the help of someone else. What can you lose? I wish the best for you!

Have a problem? Send your letters to: "Dear Jody," C/O Between the Lines, 20793 Farmington Road, Suite 25, Farmington, MI 48336. Or, e-mail: [email protected]