By Jack Fertig
Q Scopes
Everyone is being just a bit too fabulous for words! Mercury is retrograde, so his alignment with Venus and the Sun is a bit more like a collision of verbosity and overaffected efforts at charm. Mars in Leo is feeding the frenzy. Remember Lucy and Ethel at charm school? It's that kind of week!
ARIES (March 20 – April 19): Baby wants to play, but you are atypically given more to talk than action now. Chatty word games and rambling are not usually your style, but go with it for now. Don't be afraid to look silly.
TAURUS (April 20 – May 20): Buying or tossing out household items could easily be a mistake. Instead try rearranging things and seeing them in a new light. This is a great time to locate problems in domestic finances, but solving them should wait a few weeks.
GEMINI (May 21 – June 20): You're going to trip over your tongue no matter what you're talking about. Best to keep it light, nonconfrontational, and all in good humor so you can laugh with your friends over your own malapropisms and faux pas.
CANCER (June 21- July 22): Hide the plastic, and keep the cash out of reach. Any urge to display your good taste is best done as tasteful restraint – and no, that doesn't mean buying handcuffs that match the bedposts! Take time out with someone you value most.
LEO (July 23 – August 22): Everyone says you look fabulous – and you do! You're all cranked up, looking and thinking three steps ahead, but are you really three steps ahead going in the right direction? Check with friends who care about more than looking fabulous.
VIRGO (August 23 – September 22): Someone behind the scenes offers to help you up the ladder. Some secrets may be revealed in the process, but that can also work in your favor. Everyone's screwing up some these days, but your mistakes – and the way you handle them – look good!
LIBRA (September 23 – October 22): You could charm anyone into believing your stories and arguments, even if they contain mistakes. Leave room for later revisions! Better just to radiate charm and energy; save the important facts for later.
SCORPIO (October 23 – November 21): Seems everybody wants a taste of what you've got! If you do play around, none of it will be secret. You could get a reputation as a great lover, but what would your boss and your partner say?
SAGITTARIUS (November 22 – December 20): Misunderstandings with your partner actually open new doors that could improve your relationship. Explore new pleasures and possibilities together. If anything seems disappointing, you might want to try again a few weeks later.
CAPRICORN (December 21 – January 19): Anyone playing around should make regular visits to the clinic. When was your last time? If you have a clean bill of health, you can have a great time practicing any erotic techniques you'd like to develop.
AQUARIUS (January 20 – February 18): Be creative! Be daring! Take bold risks and be willing to fall down and look utterly ridiculous. A good pratfall can be endearing, helping to improve your partnership or to find a good candidate for one.
PISCES (February 19 – March 19): You have the housecleaning energy and lack of focus typical of a speed freak. Try to concentrate on one specific task or goal at a time. You'll soon be dissatisfied with the results, but that's OK. Housework always needs redoing!
