By Jack Fertig
Horoscopes
Sun, Mercury, and Mars are all careening into Sagittarius together, boosting energy and humor like the Marx Brothers just crashed your party. Fortunately, this triple conjunction should give you the energy to keep up and roll with the spontaneous fun.
ARIES (March 20 – April 19): If you can't keep your clothes on and your mouth clean, at least stay in places where your bawdy assertion is welcome. There is a time and place for everything, even the most absurd obscenities that are filling your imagination.
TAURUS (April 20 – May 20): You and your partner want to explore new paths, but are you both heading in the same direction? Talk it out as you go along and share a terrific adventure. No partner? You should have no trouble finding someone – for now at least!
GEMINI (May 21 – June 20): Be careful not to push too hard at exercise. You could get hurt, especially pulling something in the groin, and heaven knows there are better ways to do that! Focus your energy into your work instead, and brilliant ideas will earn notice.
CANCER (June 21 – July 22): Your playful mood is very infectious when it's not hugely out of place. When madcap fun is not appropriate, try to channel that verve into creative thinking. Unleash your wit, and even "you" will be amazed.
LEO (July 23 – August 22): While you can't just torch the place and rebuild from scratch, there's still room to indulge your urge to make bold changes at home. A bucket of paint and a few exotic "tchotchkes" can make all the difference in the world.
VIRGO (August 23 – September 22): Your suddenly busy mouth and sharp tongue can blow the shy, modest Virgo stereotype out of the water. Try to be nice! If you "must" say something vicious about someone, that's what politicians and celebrities are for.
LIBRA (September 23 – October 22): You need a splurge, but try to keep your spending under control. With some care and focus, you can be very lucky with money. If you really feel you're not getting what you're worth, ask for a raise now.
SCORPIO (October 23 – November 21): You're unusually outspoken these days. You may find that relieving, even if – or because – it could scare some people away. Try to keep the golden rule in mind. Honesty without kindness is often just plain cruel.
SAGITTARIUS (November 22 – December 20): Vivid dreams, perhaps with a violent streak, reveal a lot about you. Take notes as soon as you wake up, and consider what they mean. Throw some time and energy into a favorite charity. 'Tis the season!
CAPRICORN (December 21 – January 19): Aren't Caps supposed to be serious, hard-working sorts? You're the belle or beau of the ball, dazzling everyone with your quick wit. Enjoy the fun while it lasts! With a light touch and some foresight, you could draw friends into political projects.
AQUARIUS (January 20 – February 18): You're bound to get more attention, especially at work, than you expect. Be on your best behavior, but don't let that stop you from being daring and brilliant. Speak out and you will be heard!
PISCES (February 19 – March 19): A rush of new ideas lighting up your brain makes it hard to decide which ones to study and develop. Consult with a teacher for guidance. Even disagreeing with the advice will help narrow your choices.
