Good romances: That's all Lady Gaga gave during her two-night stint in Detroit. Crazy, creepy and radical, it was like something out of … well, Gaga's own warped world. That place is called "The Monster Ball," a hypersexual, gasp-granting sanctuary where unity is celebrated, theater meets pop, and she's a sorcerer who borrowed Madonna's cone bras. When she turned the Joe Louis Arena into her hypnotic "haus" this week (before canceling her next show, and several after, according to her publicist), the loveable loon was just as weird and gay and great as you'd hope. Our ooh-la-la bits, below:
Gayga: Tees that read "I (Heart) Lady Gay Gay," pre-show texts scrolling on a screen ("I'd go straight for you …"), charged messages of love, freedom and equal marriage rights: Gaga's show was gayer than her opening act's lead singer, Justin Tranter of Semi-Precious Weapons. Who is gay.
Her penis, etc.: When she wasn't lying flat on the floor, posing as Tinker Bell and demanding applause to keep her alive ("Do you want me to die, Detroit?"), or spewing some R-rated rant, she bragged about the alleged penis she's rumored to have. It's huge, apparently. Not bigger than this show was. Probably.
Super-cool sets: Within a stage-spanning frame, Gaga's show was like a work of art brought to life. There were multiple screens, one of which extended over the trim and flashed 3-D images of her, and she sang in a gyroscope and in a moving cage. No wonder this was moved from the Fox to the Joe.
Whatever was going on during "Paparazzi": Her hair hooked to a sliding pole while two dancers maneuvered it, she sang a lower, slower and creepier version of her stalker song. Was this an S&M act? Was she, like my co-worker suggested, a living photograph in a darkroom? The only conclusions made: It was awesomely strange. And purple's her color.
"Poker Face" on piano: Seated at a mangled wooden piano, which looked like something she swiped from a junkyard, she played an acoustic take on her breakthrough hit as the crowd sang along. Then, of course, she pulled out a fake machine gun and fired it at them.
Crazy costumes: Drag queens would kill for some of what Gaga wore: towering disco ball-pieced shoulder pads, Egyptian emperor gear and red dominatrix lingerie. She was a bird, a cartoon character and a Christmas tree, almost always flaunting her perfectly plump toosh. All of it was weird and wonderful.
WTF? videos: None of the show made much sense (isn't that part of the point?), but several videos really didn't. There's Gaga puking profusely on herself, and then she's Pinhead from "Hellraiser," and then there's vultures. Gaga said she told naysayers who thought the show was too out-there, "They'll get it." Uh-huh. Yeah. Totally.
Hella hot dancers: Dressed mostly in bodysuits that were taut over their genitals, it was fun finding the biggest packages. But that's only when some simulated sex act took us there. Otherwise, the focus was on their tight choreography and faces, as they grimaced during "Teeth" and wore skeleton-meets-alien costumes during "LoveGame." These monsters were a ball.
Singing, for real: No, really. In this age of Auto-Tune and lip-syncing, Gaga sang without much help, making even imperfections endearing. Best was "Speechless," when her voice soared over just piano – all the while spinning around on a turntable, contorting her legs like a dog and kicking them up on the keys. Speechless is how she left us.
