While the debate rages on as to whether a gay gene exists or not (even though we know it does), I'm pretty sure it's scientific fact that the LGBT community is genetically predisposed to being first adopters of the next best thing; we just have to have the latest and greatest gadget on the market before any of our friends. To help you stay ahead of the queer Joneses then, I've compiled this list of the coolest thingamabobs you'll want to get your hands on this summer. Let's hot-nerd out together, shall we?
Coleman Roadtrip NXT 300 Grill
Firing up the grill is one of the greatest aspects of spring and summer (especially because it marks the start of shirtless season!), and now you can do it fast and easy anywhere you'd like. The Coleman RoadTrip NXT 300 is just what the party ordered so you and your crew can eat like queens straight off the flames. Turnt-up features include a scissor leg design for set up and take down in under a minute, Electric Instastart Ignition button for automatic lighting, 20,000 BTUs of cooking intensity and a standup design for low-profile storing in tight places. Get your besties on the line, boo – it's time for a BBQ. $279.99; coleman.com
MeCam HD
If you're into documenting your amazing life as you live it and posting it to social media to make everybody else jealous, MeCam HD is just what you need to satisfy your inner Spielberg. This mini hands-free wearable video camera shoots in full 1080p HD and contains its own Wi-Fi signal that you can connect to your devices and instantly share footage. It's light enough to take anywhere (weighing in at a mere 2.5 oz), and a proprietary low-light sensor is built in to capture all your moments, even at night. Because who needs a portable HD video camera if you're not going to document your sexcapades – consensual, of course; no hidden camera action, creep – at least once in your life. Just remember to disconnect your devices first. #youwanttokeepyourjobdontyou? $259.99; www.mecam.me
AquaVault
While beach theft doesn't appear to be an epidemic in America, the unfortunate reality is that we live in a world where stupid people do stupid things sometimes and we end up the victim. You can prevent that, however, with an innovative device that will store all your personal effects safely while you enjoy the sun, sand and surf. AquaVault is a portable, thermoplastic safe that you can attach to your beach chair, lock with a combination, and have peace of mind that your day won't be ruined by random robbery. The device is designed to fit over 95 percent of existing beach furniture, and the 120-square-inch cargo hull is roomy enough to store wallets, watches, mobile phones, jewelry, keys and other valuables. And a condom just in case. $44.95; theaquavault.com
My Cabana Boy
Don't get ahead of me; it's not what you're thinking. My Cabana Boy is an ergonomically designed new tool that eliminates one of the biggest problems on the beach: How do you apply sunscreen to your back if you don't have a hottie handy? Now that problem is solved. All you have to do with this why-didn't-I-think-of-that device is pop in your bottle of spray sunscreen, tilt your arm back and spray. One and done! $13.99; my-cabanaboy.com
Wellograph Fitness Watch
Like to spend the summer getting your fitness fix outdoors? Wellograph – a wellness watch with an activity tracker, heart-rate monitor, pedometer and running application – can help you stay on track and perhaps push you even harder. This lightweight digital watch provides a complete picture of health right on your wrist, a major plus when you don't want to carry additional devices while you're working out outside – like bulky smartphones – to track your progress. Of course, Wellograph works just as well indoors – because lord knows you need gym time to get a taste of that eye candy. $349; wellograph.com
FiAir Blower
One of the greatest things about technology is that it exists solely to make our lives easier and more efficient – and the FiAir Blower is no exception. Another one of those I-can't-believe-I-didn't-invent-this devices, FiAir is the first and only truly portable, compact, super-lightweight, hand-held, battery-powered blower for feeding fires indoors and out. Just point and shoot to build flames in a matter of seconds on your grill, fireplace, woodstove, chiminea or fire pit. Personally, I love spending time around my own fire pit, and I can tell you that this device is legit and pretty darn cool. It also doubles as a personal fan when you have to be in the muggy outdoors for a lengthy period of time. Because, yes Felicia, I'm too delicate to sweat. $29.99; fiair.net
