By Jody Valley
Flirting with the world
Q: How do I handle a boyfriend who flirts with everything that wears pants? When we go out to eat, we can’t have a conversation of our own because he thinks it is fun to have one first with the host as we are waiting to be seated, then with the waiter. He will even interrupt our conversation to talk with the bus boy. I am not talking about being pleasantly friendly with people; I mean long conversations that, oftentimes, hold up service people from their jobs. He is the same way in stores, out walking, on the tennis court, at the airport. You name the place, and he finds someone to flirt with. I really like him when we are alone, but I am beginning to dread going out because of the way he acts.
Just for an example, the other day we went to the movies. The show started at 9:15 p.m., we are just getting to our seats without a minute to spare. We stopped to give the ticket taker (a guy who was well-built and good-looking) our tickets. You guessed it, he had to strike up a conversation making us late for the movie and holding up the people behind us! Afterwards, he couldn’t understand why I was upset. He said that we just missed some of the previews, so what was the big deal.
I have talked with him about this, but he says I am just overreacting. He thinks I really have no reason to be jealous, that he is just being friendly, and that I don’t need all the attention, all of the time. No other guy whom I have been with has complained about my needing an over abundance of attention. Also, I pointed out to him that he doesn’t do this with anyone who is female, or an unattractive man! He just ignores that fact. What can I do to get him to see my point of view and stop this annoying behavior? Sometimes when we are out, I just want to strangle him. We have not been going out that long, but I don’t want this to continue. How do I get him to hear me?
Speaking To Deaf Ears
A: I don’t know how you can get someone to hear something that he doesn’t want to hear. Your letter is very clear, so I assume you are as clear with him–and your annoyance is understandable to me. You have got to start asking yourself if you really want to put up with this behavior, as well as get involved with someone who doesn’t respect your feelingsÑor others, for that matter. You didn’t say what you were looking for with this guy, but if it is fun evening out, or an eventual meaningful relationship, he doesn’t sound like a good candidate.
Attack of Viagra
Q: I can’t believe my life has come to this, but I guess it has. My partner, “Geoff,” used to have problems getting-it-up, if you know what I mean. He and I are in our late seventies, now. I still want sex, but not that often, but I do want it, now and then. So, when Geoff was no longer that interested, or incapable, I felt bad. I, in no way, am as interested as I was even 10 years ago, but I am not dead yet! I did let Geoff know how I felt, and just asked him to do for me what he could, but not that he had to be a full participant in it all, if you know what I mean.
Well, Geoff decided to do something about it all, thinking I might go elsewhere for my gratification needs. (Believe me, I wouldn’t have! What he was doing was okay with me.) But, he went to his doctor, and the doctor gave him Viagra. At first, I thought this was a great thing; I hadn’t expected him to do that. Now, I’m sorry that I ever spoke up and complained about it. Geoff has turned into a sex freak. He wants it all the time. He’s on his third prescriptions of the stuff, and I’m worn out. How can I get out of all this?
A: Perhaps you could hide his prescription, or borrow one of his pills, or go get your own prescription. (Caution: Before you borrow one of his Viagras, you need to check it out with your physician.) But really, if I were you, I’d talk to him about it and settle on something that is agreeable to you bothÉmaybe, he’s getting a bit tired, too!