By Jody Valley
'I could have danced all night'
Q: I love to dance. Mostly, I like ballroom dancing, but I also like to line dance and like some of the older music to dance to, like the 60s or 70s. The problem is that I don't know where my dance partner and I can go to take dance lessons, or places that offer ballroom dancing that is safe for a lesbian couple. I know there are some gay dance places/bars in the Lansing area, but they all play music which I really don't like. They are also very smokey. I was wondering if you knew, or if anyone out there in BTL World might know where we can go for dance lessons that are accepting of gay couples, or where it is safe to go dance as a gay couple? I am willing to travel up to 50 or 60 miles. Thanks!
Twinkle Toes
A: I know that is a problem. My partner and I also like to ballroom dance but don't get to dance much because of the same issues. Let's hear from other ballroom, line or 60s type dancers. Where do you go?
Love thy neighbor!
Q: I have a neighbor that absolutely drives me crazy. It is to the point that I am thinking of moving, but I don't really want to as I love my house. When I first moved into my house, I met several of my neighbors and they were wonderful. Right next door an older couple lived and they took me under their wings; they were like grand parents to me. The people across the street became one of my best friends; we often spent time at each other's house. I would come home from work, and we would decide to combine our meals and enjoy the evening together. Last winter the older couple had to move into an assisted living place about 20 miles from here. I still visit them some, but it's not like having them right next door. The couple across the street moved to a new neighborhood. I still see them, but not as much.
The problem is the couples that have moved in to these two homes are not nice. The family that moved in on the left are big time all-American with flags everywhere. They are filled with hate of anyone different than they are. When I have had parties in the back yard, they complain that my friends are making too much noise and that their children are being exposed to "homosexuals." They even have called the police to see if they could stop us from gathering in my back yard. Needless to say, it has made my life at home less than safe feeling. At times, I don't even want to be in the back yard. It seems they are always outside watching. I have tried talking to them, but they have let me know that since I am gay, they won't speak to me. The folks across the street are just pretty stand-offish so I really don't know what they think about my friends. I have considered moving, but even if I move I realize that am not guaranteed that I will be in a safe neighborhood. I don't know what to do.
Neighbors from Hell
A: You're right; there is no guarantee about our neighbors. I guess my first question is whether or not you have considered putting up a privacy fence? That would at least inhibit their watching. What about the rest of your neighborhoods, have you tried talking with them? Usually the more folks know a person, the less they are willing to tolerate prejudice against that person. Getting to know more neighbors will probably allow you to feel safer and, of course, more accepted. As for the people across the street, you really don't know yet what they are like, so give them a chance. It takes some people a while to warm up. You are the established person in the neighborhood so why not take them a welcoming present, like cookies or something of that nature? Let them know that you are a friendly neighbor. Good luck.
