By Romeo San Vicente
Cher and Bette are 'In the Pink'
If any movie sounds like it's following a "how-to" guide for making something a whole lot of gay men will line up to see, it's "In the Pink." Exhibit A: It's about door-to-door cosmetics sales. Tim Allen plays a misogynistic corporate exec who, after getting downsized, finds himself selling a line of Mary Kay-style makeup alongside a group of women. His colleagues? Only Cher, Bette Midler, Britney Spears, and Wanda Sykes (exhibits B, C, D, and E, respectively). It's a comedy, naturally – by screenwriter Simon Beaufoy ("The Full Monty"), who's also directing – one in which the woman-hater learns to truly understand his female customers so he can sell them more beauty products. Of course, Tim Allen pimping lip-liner may or may not be what most women want, but it could still make for some laughs. And Romeo's been waiting to see Cher's latest face up on the big screen, so bring it on.
NBC buys 'Five Houses'
Way back in the last century – 1998, to be precise – Fox bought a pilot called "Five Houses" from screenwriters John Riggi ("The Larry Sanders Show") and Todd Holland (who would go on to co-create the critically acclaimed but sadly cancelled "Wonderfalls"). The story involved a gay couple moving to a suburban cul-de-sac, only to find proto-"Desperate Housewives" intrigue brewing. But that was then – post-"Ellen," and a few months pre-"Will & Grace" – and it all seemed a little too gay for the suits. Cut to the present, and now NBC is resurrecting the project, which is a rare turn of events indeed. This time around, the new couple on the block may or may not be gay, but one of the families in the show will be. And if audiences are lucky, cool original cast members like Beth Grant ("Sordid Lives") and Margaret Cho may make return visits to the neighborhood.
'Hating Her,' part two
Readers who hang on Romeo's every word will recall his earlier report about a new film from gay director Thomas Bezucha ("Big Eden"). Well, forget everything you read back then, because the project's undergone a complete and total overhaul. Once called "Hating Her," the movie was set to star Johnny Knoxville, Selma Blair, Blythe Danner, and Donald Sutherland. But now it has no name at all, and it appears that Diane Keaton, Sarah Jessica Parker, Dermot Mulroney, Claire Danes, Rachel McAdams, and Luke Wilson will take on the script about a man who brings his girlfriend home to meet the family, only to find that they despise her. If it sounds a little homo-analogous, then it probably is. Meanwhile, Romeo was a big fan of the sweet, funny "Big Eden," so he'll patiently wait for all that hate.
Straight guys in Love
It took a long time, but the concept of the "man crush" has finally begun to make itself known in popular culture. That's the straight male's propensity to have deep, affectionate friendships with other straight males – romantic crushes in all ways except for the making-out part. Now the "man crush" has become a comedy feature pitch, and one that New Line decided to catch. Based on an idea by actor Greg Coolidge ("Sorority Boys"), with a script in the works by Rob McKittrick (whose first feature, "Waiting…," is, well, waiting to be released), the so-far-so-secretive "Man Crush" is sure to be rife with played-for-laughs, almost-gay moments that won't freak out its probable teen demographic too much.
Romeo San Vicente can't count the number of guys who've had a "man crush" on him. He can be reached care of this publication or at [email protected].
