By Amy Wooten
The Chicago Free Press
An increasing number of couples are scaling back for their wedding day due to the failing economy. Couples are trimming their spending, inviting fewer guests and finding other ways to save so they can throw an affordable, yet memorable, event.
With both Iowa and Vermont recently legalizing same-sex marriage, several gay and lesbian couples will be traveling to these progressive states to tie the knot. But going overboard isn't exactly fashionable – or wise -nowadays.
According to wedding guru Alex Lluch, author and president of http://www.weddingsolutions.com, "Wedding spending is down in nearly every single area of wedding planning."
CFP spoke with several wedding experts to help future brides and grooms save cash without sacrificing integrity. While experts warn that couples should never scrimp on alcohol, food, lighting or photography, there are many ways to scale back. Here are a few hot tips:
The "affordable elopement"
Massachusetts wedding planner Bernadette Smith, president of It's About Time Events, has organized over 80 same-sex marriages. According to Smith, more couples are opting to elope.
Smith said that many out-of-town couples save money by having an "affordable elopement." Smith anticipates that Illinoisans looking to wed in neighboring Iowa will benefit on this cost-cutting approach.
The couple can elope to a state that offers same-sex marriage and spend between $2,000-3,000. Afterwards, they can throw a party for their friends and family back home.
"Having the party at home (without the 'wedding' tag) can cost less – and usually doesn't involve as many traditional wedding elements like loads of flowers, ceremony decorations, etc," Smith said. "Sometimes it's even at a private residence and can be extremely economical."
Elopements can eliminate a ton of cost and stress. Consider eloping and privately celebrating with a getaway weekend at a bed and breakfast or resort. Web site bnbfinder.com is a good source for all-inclusive elopement and wedding packages.
The cocktail party
Longtime New York event planner Harriette Rose Katz, founder and president of Harriette Rose Katz Events/Gourmet Advisory Services, said that there are many ways to save on your big day without losing impact, but her favorite cost-saver is replacing the big, costly sit-down reception dinner with a fancy cocktail party.
Rose Katz advised that couples throw a three-hour cocktail party with tons of hors d'oeuvres and a buffet, followed by cake and finger foods. Set up small cocktail tables throughout the room, have enough seating for half of the guests and make sure the event is bussed well. You end up saving on costly centerpieces and food.
"It's a great party, and people really appreciate that kind of party," Rose Katz said.
Ask for a bargain
Mimi Overman, director of catering at the New England Culinary Institute at Vermont's Essex Resort & Spa, is gearing up for Sept. 1, when gays and lesbians can legally wed in her state. If couples are planning on tying the knot in Vermont, one of the nation's top wedding destinations, pick an "off-day" like Sunday or Friday and don't come during foliage season, which is considered "in-season."
The same goes for any other wedding destination. Avoid costly Saturday weddings and research what months are popular in that particular area. For example, the hottest Iowa wedding season is the summer, especially in June.
According to Overman, most vendors have off-day and off-season rates, and if they don't provide that information up front, don't be afraid to ask.
"In this economy, everyone is asking for a deal," Overman said.
DIY, baby
Another trend is doing aspects of the wedding yourself. Many brides (and grooms) tackle both big and small do-it-yourself, or DIY, projects. Craft queens can create their own invitations or floral arrangements and save hundreds.
Overman suggests that the craft-challenged check out easy-to-use invitation options available at Michael's craft stores.
"Most people find they really enjoy being a part of the process," Overman said.
Buy local, green and recycled materials for your projects to further reduce costs and environmental impact. For example, buy locally grown flowers from a neighborhood florist. Better yet, choose flowers that are in-season to save even more.
Lluch said that the amount of DIY projects a couple tackles should be determined by the proximity to the wedding date, the size of the guest list and the scope of the project. If you have many months, designing programs or place cards for your big day is do-able. If the wedding is one or two weeks away, only take on DIY projects that take a few hours, like tying ribbons.
Lluch suggests reading about other people's DIY experiences on wedding blogs and Web sites. Many include how much time and money went into specific projects. "Use your best judgment when choosing DIY projects," Lluch warned. "…Remember that it's not worth saving a few hundred dollars and losing your sanity."
Be unique
Another way to save is by focusing on your commitment, not costly wedding tradition.
"You have to really keep in mind what the day is about," Overman said. "It's not about spending tens and thousands of dollars. Keep it intimate and focus on friends and close family."
Los Angeles wedding planner Charles Banfield organizes multi-million dollar weddings. But when he and his partner of six years became one of the 18,000-plus California couples to legally wed prior to Proposition 8's passage, they scaled back, opting to marry on the beach with only a handful of friends.
Banfield knows there is a massive amount of pressure to spend oodles of money and adhere to tradition, but advised to keep the day small, comfortable and special.
"It's really about your commitment–that's what's important," Banfield said. He suggests taking care of "the legal stuff" first to eliminate pressure, and then celebrating the union in your own special way.
According to Banfield, gay and lesbian couples should embrace that same-sex marriages are new and exciting and not burdened by centuries of tradition. Throw tradition out the window. Instead of a costly cake, have cupcakes. Feel awkward throwing the reception in a huge banquet hall? Have it in a friend's beautiful home or a park.
"The best thing about a gay wedding is you can do anything you want," Banfield said. "You don't have to get caught up on the garter, the tuxedos, the white gowns. It's about the commitment and that doesn't cost a thing. Don't rush to copy the tradition. Create a new tradition of non-tradition."
When couples veer from tradition and keep things simple, intimate and unique, they can save tons of money and create a memorable and special day.
"The tradition right now is focusing on the commitment and not all the fluff," Banfield said.
