INFO BOX
'I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry'
Universal Studios
Available on DVD now
D-
MOVIE Just imagine: a These-Movies-Suck-Ass Pride Parade. Leading it? "I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry," an unfunny, PC-messaged bore that doesn't offer us any reason to woo-hoo (!). That is, unless your thing is gas-passing jokes and seeing people get wedged in toilets. Or the use of every stereotype – Gays only like Cher! And The Village People! – in the Queer Bible. Meanwhile, the rest of us'll just wish the latest ridiculous Adam Sandler comedy-wannabe, with low jabs at Asians and alleged fart-fire-starting fat men, stayed in some porcelain bowl. With the lid shut.
The kind-of sort-of story – Larry (Kevin James), a widower with two kids, faces benefit losses unless he marries again – could've worked if it wasn't written like some lame and long disparaging "Saturday Night Live" skit. Which, with its one joke – Larry weds straight pal Chuck, both firemen, and the two pretend they're gay – it's pretty damn close to looking like a two-hour comedy sketch.
Worst part? It's not even hardy-har-har fare. Sure, Ving Rhames scores as a mincing queen, in a funny bit where he croons "I'm Every Woman" while showering with his fellow firefighters, but he's the only spark – fitting title for a flamer, yeah? – of hope still burning in this often-crude comedy. Supporting parts from Steve Buscemi, as a nosy inspector, and Rob Schneider, whose lame Japanese-Jewish officiant shtick is sour, offer little but ignorance. Meanwhile, cameo-after-cameo – including those by gay Lance Bass and straight-playing-gay Dave Matthews – are just ludicrous.
And then when, in the final third, the film toots its message louder and louder – being gay is OK! – it's way, way too late to offer up a smidgen of forgiveness for this flick. By then, most comedy fanatics will have pronounced "Chuck & Larry" dead on arrival.
EXTRAS Flatulence-filled bloopers. Blah behind-the-scenes snippets. All lame-o!
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