Everyone should have at least one friend that stands out as an example of pure energy, enthusiasm and charm. These friends are usually smiling all the time and their upbeat attitude and infectious laugh is so contagious that you just can't help but be in a good mood when you're around them. I am lucky to have many friends like this. It is one of the reasons I love the work I do. I would not have met most these people if it were not for PFLAG.
PFLAG stands for Parents, Family and Friends of Lesbians and Gays. Their name is synonymous with acceptance, inclusion, and a commitment to social justice. No matter where you are — whether it's an office environment, a union hall, or at a church or supermarket – the mere mention of the term "PFLAG Mom" and immediately people know what you mean. The image some of us get when we hear that term is the mom on Queer as Folk, decked out in buttons, pins and rainbow colored t-shirts. You can almost picture her saying something sassy and supportive like, "Don't screw with my beautiful gay kid."
For those of us lucky enough to have parents that never needed PFLAG, we still wish they would join, because the group is nothing short of a force of nature. Walking into a PFLAG meeting is like being hit with a tidal wave of affection and compassion. It's as if all the sadness, depression, loneliness, fear and rejection we had growing was wiped clear with one stroke and arms are coming at you everywhere ready to embrace. Being anywhere with PFLAG parents is like a warm blanket. I have never felt as completely supported and appreciated as when I am with parents that truly get it. There is a tenacity they have for defending the GLBT community. Hell hath no fury… like a PFLAG parent whose child is under attack by bigots.
PFLAG is the nation's largest heterosexual organization dedicated to gay rights. Not just gay rights… GLBT equality. What started as a way for parents and siblings to cope with the "coming out" of a family member, has turned into a movement that is unstoppable. They are trans inclusive, politically inclusive and truly open-minded, but many were not so before PFLAG. Because of PFLAG our community is safer, more equal, and respected. They march with us, write letters on our behalf, get arrested for us, vote with us in mind and most of all, they truly love us. Without even knowing a PFLAG parent, you can enter one of their meetings and be treated like family. We are their children. We are their responsibility. They are our protectors.
The connection that parents have with their children is impossible to describe. I am not a parent, but I know about this because I am a son. I know this because I see the look in these parents' eyes when they talk about why they continue to be a part of PFLAG. I know my own mother would do anything to make sure that my life in this world is free from prejudice and discrimination. PFLAG, like our parents, is our safety net. Without even realizing it, they are working to protect our future. Like good parents, they want what is best for us and they have chosen to join the fight, not just root for us from the sidelines.
I have been on countless panels with Yvonne Parks and Linda Karle, presentations with Karen Fenwick, protests with Jan and Mike Neubecker, meetings with Lorraine Hampton and fundraisers with Pam and Mike Hazlett. They are my family. I have never felt like they were on the outside trying to help from a safe sideline. They get their hands dirty and genuinely enjoy it. If only more GLBT people contributed to the movement the way PFLAGers do, we would indeed be powerful.
This holiday season, invite a family member or friend and attend a PFLAG meeting. They love to see new faces and I am certain you will love the new friendships that develop.
