By Keith Orr
To all the same-sex couples who got married last March 22, and all the same-sex couples who have gotten married out-of-state, and all the same-sex couples who are waiting for Marriage Equality in Michigan: Martin and I got married last year. Even after 28 years together, it was a shotgun wedding. It happened because April DeBoer and Jayne Rowse sued Rick Snyder and the state of Michigan for the right to get married. On March 21, 2014, Federal Judge Bernard Friedman overturned the state's ban on same-sex marriage on constitutional grounds. It was a body-slam to the state ruling. And he didn't issue a stay. That opened a window which allowed 320 couples to get married. That window shut after 24 hours.
So I am grateful that I was privileged to get married. All 320 of us were privileged. What we received, however, was not marriage equality. If it was, then my friends Tom and Tod's out-of-state marriage would be valid. So too with Susan and Jan. And Sandi and Linda. And my friends Kevin and Rusty.
These great people, and thousands of others, either cannot get married or the state of Michigan will not recognize their marriages.
All that could change in June. Here's the timetable.
In April the Supreme Court of the United States will hear arguments in four cases, including DeBoer v Snyder. In June they will (probably) rule.
If you've ever been involved in any litigation, you know that it is expensive. And a U.S. Supreme Court case is VERY expensive. It cost the DeBoer team $20,000 simply to file the appeal.
This case will have national implications. If we win (and win broadly) then marriage equality will be the law of the land in all 50 states. If we lose, not only do we lose, but every state which has marriage equality by virtue of a court decision will lose that right.
So clearly the big money and the big national donors are lining up to help, right?
Well… no.
So it is up to us in the state of Michigan to fund this fight. And no group should be working harder than the 320 couples. Here's why:
– We owe April and Jayne. Their case is what made our marriages possible.
– As we are seeing, the legislature is already trying to curtail our rights. A broad ruling from the U.S. Supreme Court would end all those shenanigans.
All those other couples who have unrecognized marriages or are waiting for an opportunity to get married have a huge stake, as well.
Martin and I have an idea which lets every one of us help. And if we all do it, we could raise a significant amount of money. And all it takes is a little of your time.
Here's the deal. Because we hadn't had the privilege to get married over our 28 years together, when the day came, we did not start any gift registry. We already had all the place settings and toaster ovens we needed. So even if we had had time to plan this wedding, gifts would not have been a part of the deal. And I bet the same is true for most of you.
We've been working with the National Marriage Challenge (the official fundraising group for the DeBoer v Snyder team). We have created a "Wedding Registry" page. You can go to the site, register, upload a photo and have your own "Wedding Gift Registry." Then you'll be able to send out invitations for people who WOULD have come to your big pre-planned wedding if such a thing had been possible. Invite your guests to give an appropriate gift in the form of a donation to the National Marriage Challenge.
There are three things I love about this:
– It involves a lot of people giving a little bit of time or a little bit of money, and the results collectively could be staggering.
– It is a fundraiser which is about the very thing it is fundraising for; in this case… weddings.
– It is scalable. If you would have had a simple reception, and folks would have just brought a dish to pass or a bottle of wine, they can give the $10 or $20 they would have spent to this cause. If you run in the circles where wedding gifts would have been made of precious metals, well, they can give $500. And most of us will be somewhere in-between.
We have an anniversary coming up. Let's see if we can get a few hundred couples to all join in. If we get 100 couples, and each raises an average of $100, we've raised a not-too-shabby $10K. But let's dream bigger. If we get 500 couples, and each raises $200, we could raise $100k. And that should be very possible.
Are you in?
If you are interested, you can go directly to http://nationalmarriagechallenge.com/WeddingRegistry and set up your own page.
