by Imani Williams
Voices from an Urban Bush Sistah!
I’d like to dedicate this month’s column to mothers. Yes, I know its November and not May, but sometimes you just have to take a moment and pause for the cause. This column is for readers who have lost their mothers some time ago but still miss her like it was yesterday, and for those who have recently experienced the life altering blow. It is also for those of us who still have our mothers.
As a mother I’d like to say that our roles are often without borders and our love so unconditional that we have to sometimes remember that although we seem graced with super powers to get from one day to the next, that we are still human.
Two weeks ago I came home to Detroit to support my oldest childhood friend in the loss of her mother. My heart especially goes out to those who are only children and therefore have a special kind of bond with their moms.
Last week Kanye West, 30, national and international Hip-Hop mogul lost his mother Donda West. From all accounts, Dr. West was Kanye’s biggest fan. Kanye’s name translates to ‘only one’ in Kiswahili and he was his parent’s only child. In 2004, Dr. West left her post as English Chair at Chicago State University to become her son’s manager. She also became CEO of ‘Super Good’ the parent company of Kayne West Enterprises
She was often at her son’s side at award shows and the public appearances. My heart goes out to Kanye who as an only child, has known the love of a mother who had a love of the english language that she shared with her offspring. This love of english helped him rise above the average word master and create rhymes both political in nature and deep in self-love. What a combination. She supported him through awards and controversial topics alike. Kayne isn’t afraid to speak his mind politically, and the truth spit from the lips of this young, successful black man is a threat to many people. But with the Creator and your mama on your side you don’t fear the powers that be. Simple as that.
As interested parties await word on the official autopsy, it won’t matter ultimately, whether or not Dr. West’s’ death was a result of complications from cosmetic surgery or something else. What will matter is the void left by her untimely passing. She was only 58 years young with a whole heap of love left to share with her son and the world.
Our mothers love us from the inside out, even when there are rifts.
It is easy to forget what we don’t want to remember for the sake of our personal comfort level. But bet your bottom dollar your mother sweated, and fretted with you to get you here. Nine months is darn close to a year, that’s a year spent carrying and laboring over your safety and loving you without ever seeing you yet. That’s some love. When you arrived, you were welcome into what can be a cruel cold world. You were met with smiles, kisses, love and a finger/toe count along with promises that your life would be as good as she could make it. She promised you that you could be and have anything you wanted.
As our parents age, we as adults can sometimes look into the mirror and see what we will look like 20-30 years down the line. Oh, if we’re real about things we know that there are some things we probably could have done different on our journey to ensure that ‘mama’ knows she is appreciated. For sure, conflicts arise when we leave the nest, spread our wings and test our own know how. I know that since I was 12 I thought I had all the answers, not making my mother’s journey with me pleasant all of the time. I’m as opinionated as she, and it has taken me quite some time to learn that you can indeed get more done with honey than vinegar.
It boils down to life lessons. Our mothers give us direction and wisdom to go the journey, free from as many bumps as possible. Some of us take heed some of us, myself included, elected to take the hard way and had to come back and repeat said lesson.
All in all 9 times out of 10: ‘Mother does know best’ and that’s one you can bank on.
If you still have your mom call her and tell her, ‘thank you and I love you’. If your mom has gone on send up a prayer and let her know you appreciate all she’s done for you when she was here. She’ll hear and feel your love. Cuz that’s just how strong a mother’s love is. To my mom, Happy Birthday and I love you.