"Who cares? Big deal. If it weren't for you, there wouldn't be a damn movie – so come in whenever you want!" – David Letterman gives advice to Lindsay Lohan after she expresses remorse for showing up late on the set of "Georgia Rules."
This week, we get a glimpse into the future, courtesy of the television networks announcing what shows will litter the landscape next season. There are a few shows I'll miss. Just as "The Class" finally found it's footing, the cast (including my buddy Sam Harris) got its walking papers. They're in good company. My favorite couple, Jennifer Finnegan and Jonathan Silverman, will have lots of time to plan that wedding due to the cancellation of their shows, "Close To Home" and "In Case of Emergency" respectively.
On the new show front, my readers will be particularly interested in a new version of "Flash Gordon" starring sexy Eric Johnson. You may know him as Whitney on "Smallville," although I remember him from "Legends of the Fall" playing the young Brad Pitt (which should give you a little indication of his looks). Check out the photos we have on BillyMasters.com – especially the ones of him in the tub!
Those of you who didn't believe all that "we love each other" crap being spewed by Joan Collins and Linda Evans were pretty smart. The "Legends!" tour creaked to an ignominious end in Raleigh, N.C., of all places. It was supposed to end a week later in Connecticut, but being that close to the N.Y. critics was too much to bear – especially with Broadway out of the equation. The tour of "Jersey Boys" picked up the date, so the theater returned the "Legends!" deposit. With the tour over, the truth is starting to trickle out from the "Dynasty" duo.
La Collins claims that the more physical Evans routinely roughed her up on stage. According to her spokesperson, "Collins ended the tour with a sprained knee, a scar on her hand, and almost choked to death. Evans kicked Joan's hand so hard that she now has a permanent scar and cannot wear a ring on her right hand." Of course, with Collins' track record, it's her left hand that sees more ring action. Evans' mouthpiece countered: "Joan Collins is the biggest fucking sack of shit. She's the single most unprofessional actress working in Hollywood. Linda Evans hurting somebody? I find it unbelievable!" So there!
Ben Sprecher (who co-produced the venture with Collins) also disputes Joanie's allegations and said that he's unaware of any injury. Joan, who filed an insurance report and is going to the Hospital for Special Surgery for treatment, has the last word: "I'm surprised they are saying this. It was an unpleasant experience which is now over and the people you refer to are, thankfully, out of my life." If the play had been this juicy, it would still be running!
Who needs Joan and Linda when Oprah and Gayle are hitting the road? Yes, we have exclusively learned that despite protestations, Oprah has agreed to do yet another road trip with Gayle! The last one was so popular when serialized her daytime show, Winfrey acquiesced and is preparing for a summer jaunt. This time, I'm told the twosome will find all new places to get into trouble – and find good burgers!
Sophia Loren is so desperate for the Naples soccer team to be promoted to Italian top flight this season that she is promising (read: threatening) to strip! Oh, yes, the 72-year-old legend says, "You watch – if we go up (and become top flight), I will do a striptease." Sophia, a word to the wise – at 72, support isn't only beautiful, it's also necessary!
Every once in a while, people e-mail me questions about Jensen Ackles, the sexy actor on "Supernatural" (a show I've never watched, but was renewed by The CW). I finally have something to share with you. From June 5-10, he'll be in the cast of "A Few Good Men" at the Casa Manana Theatre in Fort Worth, Texas. Jensen, believe it or not, is taking on the role played in the film version by Tom Cruise. Lou Diamond Phillips picks up where Jack Nicholson left off.
This, by the way, is not part of a proposed national touring production of "A Few Good Men." The idea for Rob Lowe to repeat his West End success in the play was put on hold once he joined "Brothers and Sisters." I hear that Dean Cain is sniffing around the property.
When Lou Diamond is done in Texas, he'll take over for Michael York as "King Arthur" in the national tour of "Camelot." Something about all of these productions makes me feel that when you buy a ticket, the question of chicken or fish will come up.
Remember when Matthew McConaughey was arrested for smoking marijuana in his house and playing the bongos in the nude? Which one of those is the crime? Looks like he's at least kept up his bongo-ing. We've procured photos of a very hunky shirtless Matty walking to his lesson, carrying his "instrument" – meaning the bongo, of course.
Incidentally, Rosie has corrected her statement about Ellen being contractually barred from talking about being gay on her show. "Jim Parratore (the head of Telepictures, who produces Ellen's show) called me saying 'There's no way that's true,' or e-mailed me. Then Hillary e-mailed me. Then her publicist e-mailed me. And then… OK, it's not true. I made a mistake. But, I had thought that is what Jim had said to me. But he said it's not what he said to me. So, why would they lie? And, you know what? I have nothing bad to say about Ellen, and I never have … Sorry about the Ellen confusion."
Speaking of Ellen, her ex-galpal Anne Heche's soon-to-be-ex-hubby claims Heche is "bizarre and delusional." NO! Really? Maybe when she started speaking in tongues on the first date, that should have been a clue!
Our "Ask Billy" question this week comes from Howie in Atlanta: "Who is John Cena? I just saw him in 'The Marine' and thought he was so hot. But my little sister says he's a wrestler. Is it the same guy? Do you know anything about him – meaning do you have any nude photos?
You and your sister are both right – John the actor (and we're using that term loosely) is also John the wrestler. And, I've got news for you – he's also John the rapper! Believe it or not, the hunky 30-year-old (who's from Massachusetts, like yours truly) is a hip-hop musician and released a CD called "You Can't See Me" – which, frankly, would be a waste. "The Marine" was his first theatrical feature (it was produced by WWE Films), but he was previously seen in the UPN's show "Manhunt." However, I'm sure my readers will prefer a series of stills from the show "WWE Confidential," which featured sexy Cena sporting a skimpy black thong. Yes, you can find the pics on BillyMasters.com.
