Creep of the Week: Bob Allen

By |2007-11-15T09:00:00-05:00November 15th, 2007|Opinions|
Creep of the Week

On the Orlando Sentinel Web page next to the latest story about Bob Allen’s restroom sexcapade was the following Data Central headline: “Are rats or roaches infesting your favorite restaurant?”
A more fitting question would have been, “Are anti-gay politicians infesting your favorite public restroom?”
Data Central, a feature of the Sentinel, offers “fast facts at your fingertips.” Indeed, if you’re looking for, say, the number of health code violations in Central Florida nail salons or the number of illnesses and deaths at Florida theme parks, Data Central’s got your back.
What I did not see, however, was a collection of all the anti-gay Florida politicians who’ve been caught with their pants down.
Topping that list would, no doubt, be State Rep. Bob Allen (R- Merritt Island). Back in July Allen was busted in a public restroom at Veteran’s Memorial Park in Titusville, Florida. The charge? Soliciting an undercover officer for sex. And offering to pay for it.
At the time of his arrest Allen said, “I certainly wasn’t there to have sex with anybody and certainly wasn’t there to exchange money for it.”
Well, a jury of three men and three women didn’t buy it and found Allen guilty as charged. He faces 60 days in county jail and a $500 fine.
It’s not clear whether or not Allen’s attorneys presented his “black panic defense” at the trial. I mean, surely the jury would have been swayed had they been told the same thing Allen told the police who arrested him: Allen wasn’t soliciting sex, he was just trying to appease the officer because he was scared of all the big black guys in the park. He was afraid of being robbed. By big scary black guys. So he offered to suck one of them off. I mean, who could argue with reasoning like that?
According to the Sentinel, as Allen left the courtroom he said, “I have done nothing wrong, and my family, my God and my good constituents know that. We’re going to continue to seek justice.”
Sadly, for most Republicans these days, “justice” is a relative term, usually involving evildoers getting away with their evil deeds.
According to, “In the last session of the Florida legislature he sponsored a failed bill that would have tightened the state’s prohibition on public sex. He also has been a supporter of amending the state constitution to ban same-sex marriage and has opposed a bill to curb bullying of gay students.”
That’s not good enough for Allen’s GOP peeps. His former buddies now want nothing to do with him and are trying to figure out how to get rid of his gay-sex-seeking ass.
“This conviction makes it impossible for Rep. Allen to represent responsibly the citizens of his district,” Florida House Speaker Marco Rubio said in a statement. “Furthermore, it is my personal belief that it harms the reputation of the Florida House of Representatives. We will now take the appropriate steps.”
Don’t let the door hit you on the ass on the way out, Bob.

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