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The end is near. It’s what right-wing religious Christians have been going on about for years. It’s the plot of the inexplicably popular Left Behind series. Make sure you’re wearing clean underpants and have washed behind your ears, kids, because the big one is upon us.
No, not the Rapture. I’m talking about something even bigger. Something with more votes in the Electoral College. I’m talking about (pause for dramatic effect): California.
As you know, California recently began allowing same-sex couples to legally marry, only the second state in our country to do so. The first, of course, was Massachusetts, and we all remember what a shit storm conservatives kicked up over that.
Well, that’s nothing compared to the End All Be All that is California. At least according to American Family Association founder and Arlington Group leader Don Wildmon. Winning the fight against “gay marriage” is imperative, he says.
“If we lose California, if they defeat the marriage amendment, I’m afraid that the culture war is over and Christians have lost,” says Wildmon told OneNewsNow, an AFA “news” site July 10. “I’ve never said that publicly until now – but that’s just the reality of the fact.”
In other words Wildmon, just like great men before him, has come out of the culture war closet. And he does not like what he sees.
“If the homosexuals are able to defeat the marriage amendment defining marriage as between a man and a woman, then the culture war is over and we’ve lost,” he said, “and gradually, secularism will replace Christianity as the foundation of our society.”
Never mind that secularism is the foundation of our society. That whole separation of church and state thing has never played well with folks like Wildmon. What’s important is that Wildmon is scared. And he’s hitting the alarm bells hard.
His song is a familiar one. Once gays and lesbians have equal rights then inevitably Christians will be rounded up and jailed. Christian churches that aren’t bulldozed will become staging areas for gay pride parades. One man, one woman marriage will become illegal. Babies born without a disco heartbeat will be aborted on demand. There will be fire. There will be flood. The heavens will rain down blood and teeth.
And it all rests on one naughty, liberal state. Oh, California. You devil.
“California is a big dam, holding back the flood — and if you take down the dam in California, it’s going to flood 49 other states,” he said.
Massachusetts, I suppose, was a little damn. Taking it down resulted not in floods, but in a slight elevation of the Nantucket Sound and an especially wet cranberry growing season.
Oh, but should that great big gay dam that is California burst, “It will destroy marriage as it has been known for thousands of years,” Wildmon continued, “and with that the cultural decline that normally would follow.”
The culture in his mind, at least. As for the actual culture that is based in actual reality, gay marriage isn’t a problem at all. And when Prop 8 fails like it rightfully should in November, I somehow doubt that Wildmon and his ilk are going to relinquish their culture war fighter badges.