By Jody Valley
Mammary introvert
Q: I have a problem that is pretty embarrassing to me. I can't discuss it with any of my friends as they would just laugh and say I am too vain. Please take this seriously as it really is a problem for me even though it wouldn't be a problem for others. Here goes. I have one nipple that is inverted. I like my breasts and I think they are just the right size and shape, but with one inverted nipple. I just am too embarrassed to let anyone see my breasts. This not only affects my love life, but I don't want to go to the gym with my friends as they would see me when we dress. I won't go to the Michigan Womyn's Festival as all my friends go topless and I wouldn't feel comfortable. I shy away from relationships because I am afraid for them to see my nipple. This seems to affect my whole life, and I just don't know what to do.
Other than that, I feel like I have good self esteem. I have lots of friend and a good job. My life is good except for this one thing. I want to have my nipple fixed if it is possible, but I am afraid what others with think. Even I think I am pretty shallow for worrying about this, but I can't seem to control it. Please don't suggest therapy because I went that route and it did no good, she seemed to think I should just get over it.
Needing My Nipple Popped Out
A: My first suggestion would have been to seek therapy, but it seems this route wasn't helpful. So, if you want to have plastic surgery on your nipple, then by all means go start checking out your options. A resource of mine told me that this is a fairly simple procedure to have done. I see no reason you need to tell your friends or anyone else that you are having this done.
Parent trap
Q: Please HELP, I don't know where else to turn. My parents just called and said they are coming to town in a few weeks and asked if I would be able to put them up in my extra bed room. They don't know I am gay and living with someone. This is my nightmare come true!
"Sam," my boyfriend, says he will move out for a few days, which is really very nice of him. I guess we could go that route, but I am beside myself with fear that they will find out anyway and reject me. My dad is really conservative and rigid. My mom is pretty cool when she is not with my dad, but pretty much a mouse when she is with him. What do I do? Should I let Sam move out, strip my house of all items that might suggest my sexuality, or tell them who I am, risking their wrath? What would you do if you were in my shoes?
Shaking In My Shoes
A: It doesn't really matter what I would do, what matters is your deciding what you are willing to risk. It sounds like from your letter that you may indeed lose your parents, if you tell them. (This may be short term as many parents come around when they come to terms with their offspring's orientation). Then again, they may surprise you and react quite different than what you expect. I always think it is a good idea to plan coming out, deciding when and where to tell them, also deciding who you will tell and in what order. In your case, the decision is being forced on you, and you need to decide if you are ready to come out to them. Look at both sides: what will it be like if they accept you, and what will it be like if they reject you? Consider this: do you really have a good relationship with them now given that you can't really tell them who you are? Good luck in your decision. I know it looks like your worst nightmare right now, but it could be a turning point in your life.
