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Marriage and relationships

compiled by Howard Israel

S/he Said

"I think it underscores that sanctity of marriage is important to most Minnesotans and people who are in same-sex relationships believe in that sanctity also and want a chance to participate in the sanctity in the same way as heterosexual couples. I will say, before you take out the speck in your neighbor's eye, take the log out of your own eye. Somebody whose conduct doesn't measure up to what they're professing to believe in or prescribing for others, then they should be called on that."
-Minnesota Governor Mark Dayton (Democrat), in a radio interview, about the speedy resignation of Republican Amy Koch, Minnesota Senate Majority Leader, after it was revealed that Koch was having an ongoing "inappropriate relationship" with a male staffer in her Senate office, http://www.dailykos.com, Dec. 23.

"On behalf of all gays and lesbians living in Minnesota, I would like to wholeheartedly apologize for our community's successful efforts to threaten your traditional marriage. We are ashamed of ourselves for causing you to have what the media refers to as an 'illicit affair' with your staffer, and we also extend our deepest apologies to him and to his wife. These recent events have made it quite clear that our gay and lesbian tactics have gone too far, affecting even the most respectful of our society. We apologize that our selfish requests to marry those we love have cheapened and degraded traditional marriage so much that we caused you to stray from your own holy union for something more cheap and tawdry. It is now clear to us that if we were not so self-focused and myopic, we would have been able to see that the time you wasted diligently writing legislation that would forever seal the definition of marriage as being between one man and one woman, could have been more usefully spent reshaping the legal definition of 'adultery.'
-John Medeiros, in a satirical letter of apology to recently resigned Republican Amy Koch, Minnesota Senate Majority Leader, for causing her to stray from her husband and engage in an "inappropriate relationship" with a male staffer in her Senate office, http://blogs.citypages.com, Dec. 22. Koch is a self-defined "social conservative" who campaigned for a constitutional amendment to define marriage as a union between a man and woman.

"If my partner were alive, I believe we would have married. I believe that there wouldn't be any gay marriage today if it weren't for AIDS. There was so much intolerance and misunderstanding about who was gay and who wasn't until everyone found out that people were gay because they were dying. And it was their friends, their family, their relatives."
-Steve Mendelsohn, in an article titled "Gay Marriage Victory Still Shadowed by AIDS," http://www.nytimes.com, Dec. 31.

"First off, you are going to be fine. The only person you need to be honest with right now is your girlfriend. And even with her, you don't need to tell her right this second. Wait until you are ready. Are you ready yet? Oh, OK. I thought you were ready. OK, I'll wait. But I'm not pushing you. Like I said, there's no pressure. The only thing you cannot do is pretend you are straight and get married to this beautiful woman and have kids with her and live 20 miserable years in secret while everyone talks about what a cute family you are until you can no longer stand it and she has spent many miserable years wondering what the hell is wrong that you don't feel attracted to her and then choose some drunken and traumatic moment on a rainy night to finally announce you're gay and you're moving out and you'll be at the hotel and here's the number and please forward any bills. Just taking the lid off this one secret is going to do you so much good! Believe me, you are only 27 and you have a great life ahead of you. This is a manageable situation. You can tell her any time. Is she home?"
-Cary Tennis, in his column titled "Since You Asked," giving advice to a 27-year-old guy who has been dating his girlfriend for three years, yet he knows he's gay, asking the question: "Do I have to tell my girlfriend I'm gay? I was thinking, maybe, I could just tough it out and marry her and have some kids and not ever have to tell?," http://www.salon.com, Dec. 15.



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Topics: Opinions
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